Hindering Secrets
by ResoluteWriter1120
Summary: Bella & Alice go on a cruise, where Bella meets Edward, Alice's brother & the two connect. But Edward has a secret. When that secret comes back to haunt him, will he be able to keep his anger locked away, & salvage their relationship? READ FULL SUM INSID
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:** Bella Swan, a graduated English major, lives with her best friend Alice Cullen in an apartment in Chicago, Illinois. The two are offered tickets by Alice's parents for a European cruise, where Bella meets Edward Cullen, Alice's brother, who she hasn't seen in three years. Edward is quiet and cryptic, and frustrating to no end. But nevertheless, Bella and Edward can't seem to fight their growing feelings toward each other. Tortured by a secret that he has kept from his whole family, Edward's unwillingness to confide in Bella affects their relationship. But when that secret comes back to haunt him, will Edward be able to keep his anger and pain locked away any longer?

**Excerpt:**

"Edward," I whispered, choking back the hysterics. "Please, don't do this. Please. I . . . I . . ." I trailed off, unable to hold the sob in. Edward looked over his shoulder, his beautiful, emerald eyes wild, fire dancing in them. His fingers never loosened. His gaze never left mine, and for a moment, I thought I saw the pain that had burdened him for so long flash through his eyes, extinguishing the animalistic rage. But only for a moment. I thought he was really going to do it, and I couldn't stand it. I couldn't watch him ruin his life over revenge. Even more, I couldn't lose him. I was too selfish.

"Please," I begged, my voice barely over a whisper. I wasn't sure if I could keep myself together anymore.

And then he stepped back, and he let go.

* * *

All right, if you've been reading my other story, I Will Never Leave You, I am SO sorry that I've been taking forever to get out the next chapter. But this idea here has been bugging me, so I've been writing the first chapter of it instead. I have major writers' block on my other story, so I don't know how I'm going to finish it. Ideas, suggestions, would be nice, just to get some inspiration, but I need an honest opinion from people--continue with just I Will Never Leave You, start in with Hindering Secrets, or should I try to continue both? Does I Will Never Leave You interest you, or do you think Hindering Secrets will be good? Tell me what you honestly think, and I'll get on it as soon as time allows. Thank you so much! :D


	2. Ch 1: Surprise Reunion

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to the author, Stephenie Meyer.**

**AN: THIS is the whole chapter one. I told you all that I'd get it up tonight! I'm really proud of this chapter, acutally. It's the longest one I've ever written on fanfiction, which is exactly what I've been shooting for. The longer the chapter, the better, after all. :D For those that have read the first half of this already, sorry you have to go and search for your place, but thank you for even reading! I appreciate it so much! Next chapter soon . . . hopefully. :P Well, for now, you can read and then review this for me! Thank you!**

:~:

"I'm so excited!" Alice trilled, enthusiasm dripping from her voice. "I've been counting down the days for the past month!"

I smiled and rolled my eyes at her excitement. "Yeah Alice, I know," I said. "You've _mentioned_ it every single day for the past month."

"What?" she said sarcastically. "Don't tell me you're not excited too."

"Of course I'm excited," I assured her. "I'm just not over enthusiastic."

Alice huffed loudly. I looked over at her to see her glaring out the windshield with her lip jutting out just a bit. She was pouting. I smirked and held back to urge to snort at her dramatics.

"Oh come on, Alice," I sighed. "I was joking."

"I am not over enthusiastic," she all but growled. "A lit bit more excitement over something never hurts."

"So, does that mean I'm forgiven?" I asked, trying to sound hopeful. I watched Alice's face as she huffed again. Then she smiled widely, revealing her perfect, white teeth. I was surprised that her eagerness hadn't bubbled over already, because I could visibly see her start bouncing in her seat.

"I suppose," she agreed, still smiling.

"Okay, that's great and all, but I think you need to calm down now." She glared at me for a few moments before she turned her eyes back to the road. "I'm only thinking about our safety," I explained. "I'd rather not crash because you were too busy trying not to lose it."

"Whatever Bella," she mumbled. I smiled and settled myself back in my seat, watching as the trees whipped by due to Alice's speed. I'd long ago diagnosed her with an unhealthy addiction to speed. Every time I got in a car with her, the little needle on the speedometer never wavered below sixty-five. Alice actually considered seventy-five _slow_, and honestly, that worried me to no end. I was just amazed—but definitely thankful—that she hadn't gotten herself into a horrible and gruesome crash yet.

Alice Cullen has been my best friend since my junior year in high school, when I moved from Phoenix, Arizona to Forks, Washington. I think I had met every single person in the school by the end of my second day at Forks High, thanks to the extremely outgoing personality of Alice. Everyone she'd introduced to me to had greeted her like they were best friends, which honestly shouldn't have surprised me. Everybody probably knew everybody in that tiny school.

We ended up going to the same college after we graduated, and I had to admit she was like my biological sister in every way. People always said we were inseparable, after all. I couldn't really argue with that, because I had no idea what I'd do without Alice. She was the perfect best friend—trustworthy, loyal, honest, sympathetic, and any other quality a perfect best friend could have. The only thing about her that annoyed me to no end was her persistence to get me a boyfriend.

Although she was my best friend, we were completely different in every possible way. She was a fashion major, and I was an English major. She was outgoing and talkative, while I was quiet and shy. She was a complete girly-girl and up-to-date with every new trend, while I was perfectly content to just throw on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt with some sneakers. She had a terrifying fetish with makeovers, and would force me into one with any sign of weakness in my refusal. And whenever that happened, she'd drag me off to some dance club and introduce me to every guy that came up to talk to _her_. Even when some had shown interest, I would only duck my head and blush, because it was me, and I wasn't able to do anything else but completely humiliate myself somehow; usually by tripping over flat surfaces and falling right on my face. And that inevitably led to the guys walking away and never giving me a second glance, which I was perfectly fine with. It was more than likely that those guys were seeking purely physical relationships—ones free of communication and understanding. And _that_ kind of relationship I was not willing to delve into.

I knew Alice only wanted me to find someone who loved me and I could love back, and for that I was grateful. But sometimes she got a little _too_ pushy. A few times I had gotten irritated and snapped at her, telling her I could find someone myself, and I always immediately regretted my words. Alice only wanted the best for me, and she'd told me that constantly, so I always guilted myself into accepting her assistance—no matter how much I didn't want to.

After our college graduations, we both agreed to move out of Washington state and start somewhere fresh, away from our old school and old town. My dad, Charlie—otherwise known as Chief Swan—was completely against my moving out of state. We'd had multiple arguments over it, and during each one I promised I would visit as much as was possible, but that wouldn't break him. Even telling him Alice would be with me wouldn't calm him down. Eventually my mom, Renee, stepped in. Of course, she was terrified of me moving out of state also, but unlike my father, she understood that I was able to take care of myself. She had called Charlie a few times, cleverly convincing him that letting me move away was acceptable. After a bit of coaxing from Alice's parents, he gave in. I was so thankful that he had, because two weeks later, Alice and I settled into our shared apartment in Chicago, Illinois, and I hadn't wanted to leave Charlie while he was still against my decision.

Alice and I had been in Chicago for a little over a year now, and we loved the life of freedom. I was somewhat surprised at how much I enjoyed the city life, but I figured my shock was due to how I'd become so used to the small town feel of Forks. Of course, we flew back out to Washington as much as we could, the airfare always generously funded by Alice's parents, despite my constant protests.

And the Cullen's generosity never ceased to amaze me. It was due to them that we were now going on a two and half week long cruise around Europe. Alice's father, Carlisle, was a much sought after surgeon, causing him to be fairly well supplied in the money category. He and Esme, Alice's mother, had originally bought the cruise tickets for themselves, but Esme had been suffering from back pain a week before the cruise, which left her unable to fly in her condition. When they offered the tickets to us, Alice fully accepted the offer before she even consulted me. I felt guilty for agreeing with their offer, because it must have cost more than what my truck was worth for just the two tickets alone. But after some begging and pleading from Alice, I gave in.

Truthfully, I was thrilled to be going on this trip. I had always wanted to travel, and Europe would have been my first destination if I'd ever had the money to make the trip myself. I had thanked the Cullens profusely for their generosity, and they always waved it off, saying it was their pleasure. Despite their casualness over the situation, I still hoped I could somehow pay off the huge amount of money they had pretty much thrown away for us.

"Bella!" Alice called. "Earth to Bella!" She waved her hand in front of my face, trying to gain my attention. I blinked and looked at over at her. One eyebrow was quirked as she watched me, amusement all over her expression.

"Sorry," I mumbled. "I guess I dazed off."

"Obviously," Alice pointed out. "I thought I'd lost you in your own little fantasy world."

"Again," I huffed, "I'm sorry. It's early, all right? Do you really expect me to stay focused and alert when we had to wake up at four in the morning?"

"Relax, relax," she laughed, holding out her hands in a surrendering gesture. "Just messing with you, Bella. By the way, we're at the airport."

"Yeah," I sighed, just noticing the parking lot surrounding us. "Let's just get our bags out, okay? I want to get into the terminal soon so I can sneak in a nap."

Alice rolled her eyes, but agreed. She flung open her door and skipped to the trunk of her bright yellow Porsche, flipping it open to reveal her huge, oversized suitcase. She yanked it out of the small space and set it on the ground, while I pulled out my more reasonably sized suitcase from the backseat.

"Alice, I know that it's almost a three week long trip," I began, voicing what I had asked her many times before, "but do you honestly need _everything_ that's crammed in there?" I nodded at her bulging suitcase. She looked at it, and then narrowed her eyes at me. I sighed, expecting her next words.

"Bella," she said, exasperated. "How many times do I have to tell you? I packed everything that's essential. I just happen to have more essentials than other people." She eyed my suitcase with distaste.

"You packed the whole apartment," I pointed out.

"I did not!" she exclaimed. "I need everything in this bag. But I really don't know how you're going to survive two and a half weeks with what little you've got in there." She pointed at my suitcase, which coincidentally, was not ready to rip at the seams due to a vast amount of clothing stuffed into it.

"_I_ will be perfectly well off with what I packed, because _I_ packed the essentials," I explained. "Mostly," I amended, remembering the cocktail dresses she'd forced me to bring along. Because I hadn't wanted to argue with her about it, I had quickly given in to taking them, but I had no idea where I would even wear them. I wasn't planning on wearing them in the first place.

"Whatever," Alice said. "Let's go." She pulled out her carry on back and purse from the back seat and locked the doors to her car. We caught a bus that took us to the entrance of the airport, saving us from a long and tiring walk. We made it through security and checking with fairly easily, except the small problem of Alice's suitcase almost getting stuck going through the metal detector, earning a few irritated glares from the workers. I couldn't help teasing her about it after they pulled the suitcase free, and she gave me a glare and an annoyed huff. About forty-five minutes after pulling into the airport parking lot, we were making our way towards our terminal, where we would wait an hour and a half for our flight to board.

I sank willingly into the uncomfortable chairs that lined the terminal walls and leaned my head back, closing my eyes to the artificial light of the airport. I hoped I could sleep off as much of the wait as possible, but Alice had other plans.

"Oh my God," Alice suddenly chimed next to me. "I can't wait to see what the ship looks like. I know my parents won't settle for less than breathtaking, so it's probably gorgeous."

"Alice," I groaned. "I'm pretty sure I remember myself saying I wanted to _sleep_ when we got into the terminal. Remember that?"

"Come on," she whined. "Don't you want to talk a little bit?"

"No," I told her. "I really don't."

"Please Bella?" she pressed, sounding like a four year old begging for cotton candy. "Just think about the gorgeous rich guys that'll be on the boat. Oh, and the foreign ones with accents!" I mentally rolled my eyes at her swooning, since my eyes were still closed. I wasn't surprised that she would bring up that topic as soon as possible.

"I know it's shocking," I said sarcastically, "but I'm not actually going on this trip for the guys. Things that are foreign, other than guys, can also be fascinating, you know."

Alice sighed loudly. "Bella, I'm not _that_ boy crazed." I snorted and received a brief glare before she continued. "I enjoy the sights and learning the history of foreign countries as much as you do, but it doesn't hurt to be excited about meeting some cute guys along the way." When I didn't respond, she continued, a smile in the tone of her voice. "Who knows? Maybe you'll meet your Prince Charming there."

I groaned again and opened my eyes to glare at her. She smiled at me and winked.

"Drop it, Alice," I sighed. "I'm not going on this cruise to look for a boyfriend."

She rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated breath. "Didn't you listen to anything I just said?"

"I did," I said. "I'm just emphasizing my point."

She rolled her eyes again. "Fine," she said, a smile playing at her lips. "Go to sleep. We have two and a half hours to talk on the plane."

"Sure," I mumbled. I closed my eyes again and listened as Alice pulled out a notebook—no doubt it was her sketchbook—and flipped through the pages. I listened as the rhythmic scratch of her pencil on the paper slowly lulled me into tempting

darkness.

I was awakened by a few nudges at my shoulder. I blinked, trying to adjust my eyes to the bright light, and glanced around me, remembering quickly that I was at the airport.

"Ten minutes till the plane boards," Alice informed me. I swiped my hand over my face and sighed, nodding my understanding.

"Did I really sleep the whole time?" I asked, surprised that I was able to sleep through all the noise and commotion of the crowded airport. I was usually a fairly light sleeper.

"Mhmm," Alice said. "Maybe I should've let you sleep a little while longer, though. You don't seem so against talking then."

I blinked, confused as to what she meant, and then the realization hit me. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks, but I didn't have the will to hide the blush. I was too horrified.

"I didn't," I breathed, eyes wide. Alice knew full well that I talked in my sleep, and she loved teasing me about it. On more than one occasion, she had held back on telling me what I'd said, leaving me to believe that what came out of my mouth was unbelievably embarrassing.

"Yep," Alice said, popping the 'p' and smiling. "Could've carried on a conversation with you if what you were saying had made any sense."

I breathed out a sigh of relief. If I hadn't been making any sense, then she must not have heard too much of what I'd said. Still, I had to ask. "What did I say?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. You mumbled some stuff about the cruise and Europe, and how I annoyed you about guys, and a little bit about how you wanted to pay back my parents."

"Good," I sighed. I could handle whatever I said pertaining to those topics.

"Yeah," Alice said. "Nothing too juicy, unfortunately." She smiled and winked at me once more.

I rolled my eyes. "Alice," I whined. "Do you have to be so cruel about it?"

"Nope," she grinned. "But it sure is fun."

"Isn't it always?" I mumbled, but it wasn't really a question. Alice answered anyway.

"Always," she agreed.

"We are now boarding flight 483 first class passengers, rows A through E," a smooth male voice sounded through the intercom. Alice glanced at her ticket briefly and then looked back up at me.

"That's us!" she said, smiling widely. Yet another thing I felt guilt about accepting from Carlisle and Esme—first class tickets for our flight. Alice and I gathered up our carry on bags and headed towards the terminal gate, finding our spot in the line fairly quickly. I felt out of place standing with rich men and women all dressed in expensive suits and clothing, but I sucked it up and boarded the plane, settling into the cushioned seats of the first class cabin in awe.

"Bella, you look like you've never been inside a plane before," Alice giggled.

"Well, I've never flown first class," I said. "Not all of us can have rich parents, now can we?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah," she said, waving her hand dismissively. "I've heard all that before."

I chuckled and turned to look out the window, watching as workers drove by in little golf carts, towing luggage on flat trailers. I watched three planes barrel down the runway and take flight before the captain's voice crackled over the intercom.

"Good morning passengers," he said in a deep voice. "Thank you for flying with Southwest Airlines. We should arrive in New York in about two and a half hours. Please keep your seatbelts on until the light above you turns off and we are safely in the air. Again, thank you for flying with us and enjoy the flight."

I watched with little interest as the flight attendant demonstrated how to buckle and unbuckle our seatbelts and put on the oxygen masks if we experienced loss of air pressure. It ten minutes, we were gliding along the lot full of airplanes toward one of the empty runways. The seatbelt light blinked on, and I quickly clicked the latch in place, then turned back to look out the window as we gained speed and lurched into the air.

The ground disappeared below as we quickly ascended, the buildings, trees, and cars all becoming smaller and smaller with every passing minute. The plane tilted to the right slightly, leaning us further east, in the direction of New York.

"I cannot wait to get to Spain and France!" Alice suddenly squealed. "Just imagine how beautiful they'll be!"

I glanced over to see her holding onto the cruise brochure and running her finger down the list of countries and cities we would be visiting. I smiled and nodded my head.

"Yeah, me too," I agreed. "I'm curious to know if they're as beautiful as their pictures though."

"I'll bet they are," she insisted. "My parents have been to Spain, and they said that it was even more beautiful in person. The videos they've shown us sure proved that."

I held out my hand for the brochure, and Alice handed it to me. I looked through the same list she had looked at briefly. "Oh, Barcelona!" I breathed. "I've always wanted to go there."

"Well, now you can," she smiled. "I'll bet you aren't feeling guilty about accepting those tickets now, are you?"

I rolled my eyes. "I don't know," I said. "I'll admit I'm sure glad I did accept them, but I still feel guilty about the money they wasted."  
"Bella," Alice said. "Did you listen to my parents at all? They're perfectly fine with this!"

"Yeah. That's what they _said_. It doesn't mean they actually mean it."

Alice gave me a look that said 'Isn't that obvious?' and said, "I thought you knew my parents better than that."

I furrowed my brow. "What?"

"They never lie," she pointed out. "They believe people deserve to know the truth over lies. I have to agree, for the most part. It saves a lot of grief."

"Yes, I do know that, Alice," I sighed. I knew that all along. But it didn't erase the image of the large amount of money imprinted in my mind.

"Well, why are you so worried about it, then?" she asked.

"It just doesn't feel right, them spending so much money on me when that money was meant for _them_," I explained, exasperated.

"They're spending it on me, too, Bella," Alice said.

"Yes, but you're their daughter."

"And?" she asked, quirking one eyebrow. "Your point?"

"Does everything have to have a point?" I groaned, becoming tired of this conversation. I leaned my head back on the headrest, rubbing my still tired eyes.

"With me, yes." She said it in a tone that suggested I should know that already. Which I did. I just wanted to find a way to end this conversation.

"Well, I don't have a point," I admitted. "And haven't we had this conversation before?"

Alice nodded. "Yes. Multiple times, actually. But _you_ seem to keep bringing it up."

"Sure," I muttered sarcastically. "Alice, can we just stop talking about it? It's pretty pointless."

"I suppose," she sighed, settling back in her seat. "Only if you stop feeling guilty over it. _That_ is pointless."

"Yeah, whatever," I mumbled, knowing full well that wasn't going to happen.

"Wonderful." I heard the smile in her tone, but I was sure it was a façade. I was almost positive she didn't believe that I meant my agreement.

We didn't talk much for the rest of the flight. I was surprised that Alice hadn't exploded with conversation the whole two hours. I hadn't known she had that kind of restraint—she was the only person I knew who could talk forever, with minimal pauses for oxygen. I was thankful for her silence, though, because I was able to sleep for about an hour. When I woke up, I felt slightly more rested, but I couldn't wait to finally get settled on the ship, so I could get a full night's sleep. That is, if Alice didn't have other plans for me, which is was very unlikely that she didn't. She hadn't forced me to bring those dresses for nothing.

I had been reading for the past hour when the captain's voice sounded over the intercom again.

"Good morning passengers," he said. "We will be arriving in New York in about ten minutes. We hope the flight was enjoyable, and again thank you for flying with us."

Alice and I fastened the little tables back into the back of the seats in front of us. I packed away my book, and Alice stuffed her sketchbook and magazines back into her bag. She was bouncing in her seat again, the anticipation threatening to explode out of her. I felt like I should warn the people around us of Alice's liability to overreact, but I didn't think Alice would appreciate it, no matter how much others would.

"Bella!" Alice suddenly squealed. I looked over at her and gasped a bit when I looked right into her wide blue eyes. She was leaning over me, trying to catch a glance out of the window as we landed.

"Just imagine all of the stores!" she said breathlessly. I could almost hear the wheels turning in her head as her eyes shifted from the approaching city to me and back, a small smile playing on her lips. My eyes widened as the variety of equally horrifying scenarios played through my mind.

"Alice . . ." I began, warning her with my voice. "Don't even think about it."

"Don't think about what?" she asked innocently, moving away from the small window. She wore an expression that was innocent as it was real.

"You know full well what I'm talking about," I said, narrowing my eyes. "And my answer is no. No negotiations."

She looked at me with her false innocence for a few more moments before she decided that it was no use. She sighed in exasperation and rolled her eyes before she spoke.

"Honestly, Bella," she said. "You're a girl. Sooner or later you have to get over this sick aversion to all things fashion. Sooner would be preferable."

"Just because I'm a girl does not mean I have to have an obsession with clothes and makeup."

"If you ever want to get a guy you do," she said matter-of-factly, shrugging her shoulders.

I took a deep breath, wondering how I was ever going to make her let that go. So I didn't have a boyfriend—so what? I just hadn't found the right guy yet—and I tended to drive many of them away with my klutz gene and antisocial-like shyness. But how could I, or anyone else, do anything about that? They couldn't, and Alice didn't seem to realize that. Meddling in my near non-existent love life was like a hobby for her. A hobby that she was never going to get tired of until she finally had a success in her attempts.

"No, Alice," I finally said, trying to sound firm.

"Whatever you say, Bella." Translation: "I can hear the resignation in your voice, so a total transformation is in order for you."

I bit my tongue so I wouldn't grumble at her addiction to dressing me up. Even though I had sounded resigned and defeated, I still had fight in me. I wasn't going to give in to her _that_ easily—she just didn't know that yet.

The landing went smoothly, and we got off the plane fairly quickly. We spotted Alice's luggage first on the luggage carousel—it was hard to miss; a purple, bulging suitcase—and mine followed a few suitcases behind, much less conspicuous.

Before I knew it Alice had my wrist locked in a vise-like grip and was half pulling, half dragging me toward the doors. I caught the time in flashing red digits on a digital clock hanging on the wall and looked back at Alice, curious.

"Alice," I said a bit loudly, trying to pull my hand free. "We only have an hour and a half before we board the ship. What are you _doing?_"

She responded by tugging me along even further. Her lips stayed stubbornly sealed. Of course, I did know what she was doing. She was hauling me off to some designer—and way too expensive—New York store and planning on playing dress up Barbie doll. Which I had no intention of letting happen. But Alice had every single intention of doing it, so I needed to find a way to distract her—fast. Or maybe even make a compromise, if completely necessary.

I scrambled in my mind for something that could make her forget about shopping, or at least keep her away from the stores. Nothing came to mind that would be effective, so I just opened my mind and voiced a lame excuse for avoiding the shopping spree.

"Alice," I said. She didn't look over her shoulder or even acknowledge that she'd heard me. So I tugged my hand back to catch her attention and said her name again, more firmly.

Her eyes met my face, annoyance clear in them, but she didn't slow down. "What?" she asked.

"I just remembered I need to buy a couple books," I said, my voice sounding less and less sure by the second. "I'm almost finished with the book I brought, and I need to get some new ones."

"You packed three other books, Bella," she said, her eyes narrowing. "Don't even try. You are so not getting out of this."

_Aw crap._ I had forgotten that she'd pretty much been the warden of my packing process. She had seen everything I'd put into my bag.

"Fine," I hissed. "I'll let you do this." I guess I'd have to go with plan B. "_But _with a compromise."

"I thought you said your resolve was non negotiable," she mocked, beckoning a taxicab by setting down her suitcase and waving her free hand wildly in the air.

"That's when I was hoping you'd drop it," I explained, aggravated.

A taxicab screeched to a halt in front of us ten seconds later. The driver got out and helped us shove our bags in the trunk, flashing us both a silver-crown toothed smile every few seconds.

"You really believed I would give up?" Alice gasped in mock horror. "Bella, it's like you don't know me at all."

"Well, I can still hope," I mumbled.

"So," she said happily as we climbed into the back seat of the taxi. "What's your compromise?" She was obviously convinced she was going to get her way.

"You can dress me," I replied grudgingly. "Nothing. Else."

Alice's happy demeanor disappeared immediately. "_Come on,_" she whined. Where's the fun in that? Clothes and hair."

"No," I refused sternly.

"Please, Bella?" She was begging, but I wouldn't let her have her way. For once I wanted to go somewhere in public with her _without_ her making me look like someone else.

"No, Alice," I persisted.

"What harm could I do with hair?"

"Ha," I laughed humorlessly. "I could think of a few things."

"Like what?" she said.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back for a moment. Then I opened my eyes and stared at the unnerving stains on the taxi's ceiling. I couldn't help but think, _'Really, though. How much harm could she do with hair?' _Not much was what I concluded.

"Fine," I sighed. "Clothes and hair. That is it."

"Yay!" Alice squealed. She wrapped her arms around me squeezed tightly. "Thank you, Bella!"

I couldn't help but laugh at her excitement. "You know no one can say no to you."

"Exactly," she grinned.

I rolled my eyes. Ten minutes later the driver weaved the taxi out of the traffic and stopped by the people filled sidewalk. I opened the door and stepped out, followed by Alice.

"Hey ladies," the driver called through the open passenger window in a thick New York accent. "What are you doing with your bags?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but Alice waved at me to be quiet. "Let me handle this," she mouthed. I nodded and watched curiously as she dug her wallet out of her purse and produced a fifty. She stuck her head in the window and spoke too quietly for me to hear. When she stood back up, she looked satisfied and her hand was vacant of the money she had held a few moments ago.

"He'll wait here while we're inside," she explained, leading me into a store whose name I couldn't pronounce. I nodded, but just hoped he didn't end up going through our bags and stealing something.

Forty-five minutes later we emerged from the store, Alice holding two bags full of clothes. Most of the clothes Alice had insisted I needed, but she gave in and bought some for herself before we left. My hair was shiny and smooth as it flowed down my back. Alice had forced me into a casual looking black dress with a flimsy material. I felt way too exposed in it, but what could I do? No one could argue with a determined pixie like Alice.

True to his word, the cab driver had stayed right where he was while we—well, Alice—had been shopping. We climbed back into the backseat with our bags as Alice told the driver the address of the dock where we would be boarding our ship. It took twenty minutes to make it to the dock. If it had been any farther away from where we had been, then we would have been late.

We hurriedly yanked our bags out of the trunk and hurried up to the humongous crowd of people who we figured were the other passengers. My eyes locked on the ship quickly, considering it was huge. Many windows lined up along the side of it, and there were two visible decks. Across it in blue, curving letters read the name _Seven Seas Voyager_. I noticed that the stairs that would bring us up to the deck were already in place and that there was a long line of people climbing the steep flight already.

"Are we late?" I asked breathlessly, glancing at Alice.

She shook her head. "I don't think so. They must be boarding early or something. Come on."

Alice began weaving her way through the people as she searched for the end of the line. I followed behind her, finding it difficult to squeeze between the tightly packed crowd. Eventually Alice stopped behind a woman with a blonde ponytail and a camera around her neck, looking very touristy. I tried to catch my breath from trying to keep up with Alice as I leaned down onto my suitcase to rest.

"You have the tickets?" I said. Alice looked at me and nodded. She started rummaging through her purse, and after a few moments she pulled out two strips of paper, covered in small black print­­­­—the tickets.

"They're right here," she said, handing me mine.

"Thanks," I said, taking it and standing up straight again. I looked up at the ship again, still in awe at how huge it really was. But it was also beautiful.

"It's so gorgeous," Alice trilled, voicing what I was thinking. "I'm not surprised, though. Like I said, my parents prefer the finer things."

"I'm surprised they didn't let us fly in their private jet," I joked. Alice slapped me on the arm and rolled her eyes as we started to ascend the stairs.

"They don't have a private jet, Bella," she said, lifting her bag up to the next step along with her. "Although I wouldn't be too surprised if they really did."

"I would," I said. Yes, the Cullens were completely rich and could more than likely afford an extremely nice jet if they wished to buy one, but they truly weren't too much the materialistic type of people, unlike their daughter.

Alice just shrugged her shoulders and continued up.

Within the next twenty minutes we were at the landing, stepping onto the deck after presenting our tickets. We followed the flow of people, unsure as to where we were even headed. The deck was a clean and shiny under the many deck chairs that were lined up near the railing so they were looking out at the sparkling ocean. The windows into many different rooms, but one stuck out in my mind—a spa. If the spa didn't have a makeover factor along with it, it sounded like something I would definitely be happy to enjoy.

Everything was elegant and gorgeous on the Seven Seas Voyager. Nothing seemed out of place and everything looked spotless, which didn't seem likely for a ship that had thousands of people living on it for fair amounts of time. But it was, and I couldn't wait to explore the rest of the ship. The excitement that had been hiding inside of me suddenly started to build inside of me, I could feel it. I hoped we would be taking off from the dock soon, because I could feel my impatience growing already.

When we finally stopped behind the restless crowd, I took a moment to admire what I supposed was the main deck. It was just as immaculate as the other decks, but on the other end of it, there was a large, decorated pool. A kiddy pool and a hot tub with a stone waterfall were near it, making it a pretty sight.

There were quite a few people in the front explaining and demonstrating how to fasten a life jacket, and went on to explain other things to do in case of emergencies, along with general information. I caught bits and fragments, but not enough to really feel prepared. Hopefully Alice had understood most of what they were saying.

Finally we were headed to our room, finding our way through the many hallways to the suite. I let Alice lead the way the whole time, afraid that if she followed me, we'd end up on the other side of the ship. But after walking around for nearly a half hour, I wasn't so sure either of us would find it.

"Uh, Alice?" I said uncertainly.

She glanced down at the map of the ship and paper that told us our room number, then said distractedly, "Hmm?" She kept walking and didn't look back at me.

"Are you sure you know where you're going?" I said. "It just seems like we're going in circles."

"We'll find it," she mumbled. Then, "Ah! Found it!"

"Seriously?" I said skeptically.

"Look!" Alice said, pointing at the door she was standing in front of. I remember our room number from the paper, 327A, and that's what it said on the door, so I figured that we were at the right room.

"Okay," I sighed. "Open it up and we'll see."

Alice pulled out the room key from her pocket and slipped it through. The green light blinked on and she turned the handle, revealing the room.

"Told you so," she sang as she walked in.

I rolled my eyes and followed in after her, closing the door behind me.

The lights flicked on just as the lock clicked on the door. I turned and looked into a beautifully decorated room. You could definitely tell that it was one of the more expensive rooms. The color scheme was a golden ocher along with accents of a deep scarlet. The living room, which was what you first stepped into, had light golden walls, and the furniture was scarlet with gold patterned into it. A flat screen TV hung on the wall, a beautiful fireplace directly under it. There were two doors on the right wall, and I assumed they led to the bedroom and bathroom. The farthest door was wide open, and I figured it was the bedroom. Alice was probably in it, unpacking already.

I made my way to it, towing my suitcase behind me, and my purse and carry on bag slung over my shoulder. When I entered the room, I immediately saw two twin sized beds with scarlet bedspreads and golden pillows. Alice's suitcase was flung out over one of the beds. It was open and clothes were spilling over the sides. The door of a small closet was open, a bright light on inside of it. I walked over to the other bed and rested my stuff on it.

"Ugh!" Alice groaned from the closet. "How am I supposed to fit all of our stuff in here? It's so _small!_"

I couldn't help but snicker at her stresses. She was the only person I knew who could get so freaked out over the size of a closet. I unzipped my suitcase and began pulling out shirts that I could hang in the closet. I scooped them up headed toward the open door and found Alice glaring at the already full rack of hangers. A pile of shirts was still on the floor at her feet, waiting to be hung up.

"Alice," I said, smirking. "If you glare any longer you might catch all of your clothes on fire. What'll you do then?"

She turned her glare on me and gave a huff. "These people do not know how necessary a large closet is."

I laughed. "You know, there _is_ a dresser in the room. It has plenty of room for all of your unnecessary items of clothing."

"Unnecessary," Alice scoffed. "None of this," she gestured to the clothes that were already hanging up, and then at the pile on the floor, "is unnecessary."

I rolled my eyes. "I am not having that conversation with you again." I turned to walk out. "Do you want to give me the rest of your clothes so I can put them in some drawers?"

"Fine," Alice mumbled. I turned back around and she dropped the pile into my already filled arms. I went to the dresser and started folding the clothes and putting them inside. Alice brought out a few more things from the closet and switched them with the dresses she'd had me pack. We both finished unpacking everything fairly quickly, and I eventually found myself splayed out on my bed, trying to keep from falling asleep. My eyes were fluttering closed, only to force them open again. The bed was extremely comfortable, and I could feel the very subtle sway of the ship. It didn't give me motion sickness like I was afraid it would, but it only made me tired.

I didn't hear Alice walk in before she spoke. "Bella," she sighed. "Go to sleep if you're that tired. Sleep deprivation won't be helpful when we're going to be in different time zones anyway."

I nodded, too tired to say my thanks. I burrowed under the covers, and seconds after my head hit the pillow, I was asleep.

I woke up to my bed bouncing violently. For a moment, I thought it was the ship rocking aggressively, strongly enough to make the bed move. But then I heard a sound filter through my groggy mind. The sound was saying my name, and it took me a few seconds to realize that it was Alice's voice.

"Bella!" she said. "Wake up, Bella!" She was pushing down on the mattress repeatedly, which was what was causing it to shake.

I groaned and rubbed my eyes, trying to wake myself up. "What Alice?" I mumbled.

"There's karaoke in one of the lounges tonight!" she squealed. "We _have _to go!"

Lounge equals guys. Guys equal a meddling Alice. _I don't think so._

"Alice," I whined. "Why?"

"It'll be so much fun!" she trilled, still shaking the bed.

I sighed, realizing I didn't really care if Alice wanted to meddle. I could ignore it, just like I always had. And anyway, I wanted to do something. I wanted to explore the ship a bit. So why not go and listen to people sing karaoke horribly?

"Okay," I sighed. "I guess I'll go."

She grinned widely and clapped her hands together. "This is going to be so much fun!"

"Wait," I said, sitting up and holding my hand up to make her pause. "One condition. I dress myself."

Alice's lip jutted out in an automatic pout. She looked at me as she contemplated, and finally gave in.

"Agreed," she sighed. "Hurry up, though. We have a half an hour before it starts." She must have already gotten herself ready, because she turned and walked out of the bedroom. I stood up and went to the dresser and pulled out a nice shirt and some jeans, not caring if I needed to be dressed up to go to a lounge, which I figured you really didn't. I grabbed my bag of toiletries and walked out of the bedroom and into the bathroom. I didn't have time to take a shower, so I pulled on my clothes and washed off my face. I brushed my teeth and ran a brush through my tangled hair, trying to make it look halfway presentable. When I was satisfied with my appearance, I put everything back in the bedroom and walked into the living room to see a very impatient Alice waiting my the door.

"Jeez Bella," she said. "I thought you were going to make us late."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "What time does it start?"

"Six," she said. I was momentarily surprised that I had slept for nearly six hours, but that passed quickly.

"And what time is it now?" I asked.

"Five forty-seven." She opened the door and walked out, waving for me to follow her. "Why does it matter?"

"We have nearly fifteen minutes," I said, stepping out of the room. "Why are you in such a hurry?"

"Because it's almost all the way on the other side of the ship," she explained. "And I don't know how long it'll take us to get there."

"Could you find somewhere to go that's even further than that?" I murmured sarcastically.

"Nope," Alice said.

We walked for the next ten minutes, walking by many, many people. They were a variety of ages, ranging from preteen to the older folks in their fifties and sixties, but we saw more people that were our age or into their thirties.

I would never get over the beauty of the ship. Every part of it was intricately designed and spotless. The colors and furniture were all tasteful, making it very appealing. We passed by many rooms—restaurants, gyms, and spas—all nice to look at. There was even a huge theater, complete with the cushioned seats and a projection screen behind a curtain.

When Alice found the lounge, it was a few minutes after six. She tugged me in quickly, leading us to the first available table.

The room was fairly large. The lights were dimmed, but it was still light enough that reading something would be possible. There was a soft glow across the room, causing it to have a very cozy feeling. There were couches and chairs lined up on the other side of the room, occupied by men and women talking and holding drinks. A small stage was built in one corner. It rose up off the floor so if someone were to perform on it, they would be set above most people, noticeable. Next to it was a small bar with a good-looking guy working behind it, smiling charmingly at anyone who came up.

"Are you glad you came yet?" Alice asked.

I looked at her to see her smiling with excited eyes. Her eyes flicked around to glance at the many faces in the room. "You wouldn't be expecting me to say that I'm glad I came because of the guys here, would you?" I said knowingly.

Her eyes rested on me briefly, and then looked away, clutching her hands in front of her. I knew she was lying then. When she clasped her hands in front of her, it meant she was nervous. My suspicions of why she wanted me to come here had just been proved.

I rolled my eyes at her. "Even if you do meddle in my love life tonight, Alice," I said, "it doesn't mean I'll acknowledge it."

She sighed. "Do what you want Bella. I won't do anything tonight, since you're so set on not accepting my help."

"I plan on it," I assured her.

We sat in silence for a few moments, just watching the people around us and the people who walked in. I was about to suggest going to get something to drink when Alice piped up.

"Just look at how some of these people are dressed," she said, faint disgust in her voice. I could just tell she was dying to get these people in front of her mirror and treat them like mannequins. "You would think they'd at least _try_ to be color coordinated. I mean, honestly, it takes five seconds to find something that matches and . . ."

She stopped, her eyes going wide as she looked over my shoulder. The color seemed to drain from her face as her mouth dropped open in obvious shock.

"Alice?" I asked worriedly. "Alice, what's wrong?" I looked over my shoulder to see a few people entering the lounge and some leaning against the wall and talking to others. I turned my eyes back to Alice just in time to her jump out of her chair and bolt toward the door. I instinctually started after her, but was stopped by the wave of people that entered and blocked my view. When they cleared away, I saw Alice clinging tightly to one of the guys I saw standing by the door a moment ago.

I walked quickly, but cautiously, toward the two, watching the guy's gorgeous face and his emerald green eyes, wide with shock. He had his arms wrapped around Alice's small waist, hugging her back. I was close enough to hear the three words he said into her ear that confused me to no end.

"Hey, little sister."

**AN: Woohoo! You read all the way to the end of this chapter! Thank you! I'll update ASAP. As long as I don't end up too busy somehow. :\ I'll try, though! PLEASE review!**


	3. Ch 2: Breakdown

**Disclaimer: The Twilight Saga belongs to the author, Stephenie Meyer.**

**AN: Chapter two! Yay! :] Well, I hope you enjoy it. Be prepared for a broken Edward, though. :\ Reviews make me extremely happy! And I'd love to see quite a few more show up in my inbox! :D**

:~:

_Previously:_

_I walked quickly, but cautiously, toward the two, watching the guy's gorgeous face and his emerald green eyes, wide with shock. He had his arms wrapped around Alice's small waist, hugging her back. I was close enough to hear the three words he said into her ear that confused me to no end._

_"Hey, little sister."_

:~:

I wasn't sure what to do, or even what to say. I had no idea who this man was that was hugging Alice, and that made me extremely nervous. Who _was_ he? Alice obviously knew him, because she wouldn't be hugging him otherwise. But then there was the fact of him calling her little sister. I knew Alice had one brother, and that was Emmett. I didn't remember her ever saying anything else about another sibling . . .

And then it clicked in my mind.

Alice _had_ told me once that she had one other older brother, but that was only one time, and it was quiet a while ago. She hardly ever mentioned him. I didn't even remember his name. She'd said that no one in her family, not even her parents, had heard from him in a long time. He'd had no contact with his family, and they'd always been terrified of the worst. Alice had showed me pictures of him before, but they had been from quite a few years ago. But looking at him now, I could definitely see the resemblance. This must be Alice's other brother.

Finally Alice let go of the man, and he let go of her in response. He was very tall as he stood over her, looking down at her at her with a small smirk and an expression of fondness on his face. Alice was beaming as she looked back up at him, and I thought I noticed a tear run down her cheek. She looked over her shoulder then, wiping away the tear with one hand as she caught site of me.

She waved me over. "Bella," she smiled. "Come here."

I cautiously walked forward, stopping as I reached her side. I glanced up at the man, and he was looking down at me curiously, his beautiful green eyes sparkling.

"Bella," Alice said, regaining my attention. I looked at her, and her expression hadn't changed. "This is my brother—my other brother—Edward."

Despite being proven right, I was still shocked that I was correct, and that this was really her brother. "You mean . . .?"

Alice nodded, knowing what I was talking about. "Yeah."

I looked back at Edward, and his eyes were flicking between my and Alice's faces, obviously confused. I decided that the polite thing to do was introduce myself, even if I didn't like how he had pretty much abandoned his family for years, without contact.

"It's nice to meet you Edward," I said, giving as genuine a smile as I could, without feeling too embarrassed. "I'm Bella." I held out my hand for him to shake. He took it automatically, and when he touched me, it seemed as if a shock of electricity raced between us. My eyes flicked up to his, and he looked just as confused as I felt.

"Hello Bella," he said, his voice sounding like velvet. "Pleasure to meet you too."

I nodded and looked away, feeling the blush rush to my cheeks—always my inevitable reaction. Alice didn't let the silence that followed become awkward, because she was talking within the next three seconds.

"Edward, please, _please_ sit with us!" Alice begged, grabbing her brother's hand and tugging him toward our table.

"Whoa," Edward chuckled, pulling his hand back. Alice looked devastated as she turned her eyes back up to him. He smiled reassuringly at her then, and ruffled her spiky hair. "Calm down. It's just that I have a friend with me." He pointed over his shoulder at a blonde man by the door who had looks almost as striking as Edward's. He was watching our conversation with confusion etched across his features.

Alice looked to where Edward was pointing and her eyes widened slightly. I knew that look. It was her "What a gorgeous man standing over there" face. When she didn't look away from the man, I began to worry that I might have to snap her out of her daze. Luckily, Edward spoke before her swooning got too out of hand.

"I was only wondering if you minded him sitting with us," he explained, smirking at Alice knowingly.

Alice blinked and refocused on her brother. Then she did something that I _never _thought I'd live to see—the always-confident Alice Cullen _blushed_. She smiled and tried to seem indifferent as she replied.

"No," she said breathily. "I—we don't mind him sitting with us. It'd be rude not to offer."

"Great," Edward said with his beautiful voice. He turned halfway back to the door and waved the man over. The blonde man pushed off the wall and started toward us, radiating an aura of calm. He had a very subtle smile playing at his lips as his light blue eyes alternated between the three of us, lingering on Alice more often than necessary. Just as he reached us, Edward began the introductions.

"Bella, Alice," Edward began. "This is a good friend of mine, Jasper. Jasper, this is Bella and my sister, Alice." He gestured at us as he said our names.

Jasper shook my hand, smiling, and then turned to Alice, whose eyes were twinkling excitedly. He took her hand as if to shake it, then lifted it up to his lips and kissed her knuckles briefly. Alice's smile was breathtaking as he dropped her hand and spoke.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Jasper said, a slight southern drawl in his voice.

"You too, Jasper," Alice said, her voice still sounding breathless.

All of the sudden Edward cleared his throat, and Alice's expression changed automatically. She turned to glare murderously at him. I couldn't help but giggle at her reaction, and as she turned her glare on me, I laughed harder.

"Let's go sit," she mumbled, turning her back on the three of us, leaving me with Edward and Jasper.

Before I had time to panic at the situation I was in, Edward spoke. "I remember her having major mood swings, but I think they've intensified. I swear the damn pixie can't take a joke lightly."

I looked back to see him smirking and shaking his head after his sister. I laughed nervously. "I know what you mean. We shared an apartment through college and we've shared one for the last year too. I'm sure you've only seen the gist of her moods."

"That's a possibility," Edward chuckled. He, Jasper, and I made our way over to our table, where Alice sat, sulking. When we were all situated at the table, silence followed, and it was beginning to make me anxious. I could see that Alice's steam was subsiding, and that was proven when she smiled at Edward and spoke.

"I've missed you so much Edward," she said quietly, her eyes beginning to glisten with more tears. "Everyone's missed you. Where have you been?"

Edward stared at her for a minute, the pain obvious in his face. Then he averted his eyes to his hands, which rested on the table. He fidgeted, as if he was uncomfortable, and I saw his brow furrow. He seemed to be thinking or contemplating something. He opened his mouth, like he was going to answer, and then snapped it shut. The muscles in his jaw were working, making it look like he was grinding his teeth together fiercely.

"I . . ." he finally began, only to trail off. Then he sighed, still not looking up. "I just had to leave for awhile, Alice. I needed space, and Forks couldn't give me that." He closed his eyes briefly and clenched his jaw, looking guilty.

Alice didn't reply automatically, and I could see why. She looked like she might burst out in tears any moment. My immediate thought was that I shouldn't be here—that I shouldn't be overhearing this conversation, and that this was something that Edward and Alice needed to discuss alone. But Edward was intriguing, even if I didn't exactly like him for what he did. I felt bad for wanting to stay and listen, and as I started to open my mouth to excuse myself, Alice piped up.

"Why, Edward?" she whispered brokenly. "_Why?_ Don't you even have a reason for leaving us?"

Edward's hands fisted tightly on the table. He closed his eyes again, squeezing them shut. It looked like he was fighting with himself, like he was frustrated and angry and sad at all once, and he was forcing himself not to let it out on his sister.

"I just told you why," he said through clenched teeth.

"That's your excuse?" Alice asked incredulously. "You needed space?" She stared at her brother in disbelief. "_For three years?_"

Letting out a shaky breath, Edward looked up at Alice with wide, pleading eyes, unshed tears shining in them. "Please, Alice," he begged. "Don't make me—I can't—" He broke off, snapping his jaw shut, the pleading look on his face replaced with tense anger.

"What happened to my brother?" Alice said, causing Edward to tense up even more. "What happened to the carefree older brother who I always looked up to and wanted to hang out with all the time? The one who always smiled and loved to laugh and—"

Edward's fist came down loudly on the table, silencing Alice into shock. "He's still here!" he said, a little too loudly for the crowded room we were in. A few people turned their heads in our direction to see who had shouted. "I've been through enough, Alice! I don't need your damn questions to make it worse!"

Alice was now in tears. She'd broken down sobbing with the first sentence of Edward's outburst. Edward took a deep breath and unclenched one hand, only to pull it fiercely through his bronze mess of hair. He put his face in both his hands and didn't speak, leaving me and a stunned Jasper the only ones at the table who weren't exploding with fierce emotions.

I wasn't sure if talking was the best thing to do at the moment, but I was pretty sure Alice didn't want to keep sobbing in a room of full of prying eyes. I reached out and touched Alice's arm lightly, not wanting to startle her. She whipped her head around to look at me, still sobbing full force.

"Alice?" I said quietly. "Do you want to finish talking to Edward in our room?"

Her body was shaking so hard that I almost passed off her nod as one of her body's tremors. I stood up and helped her out of her chair, worried that she wouldn't have the best balance in her state. As I wrapped my arm around her, she turned to me and locked her arms around my neck, crying into my shoulder. I tried to comfort her for a few moments by rubbing and patting her back, but I knew it wouldn't do much. The only person who could calm her down now was the person who caused her hysterics.

I began leading her away from the table, and then looked back to see Jasper standing next to Edward, his hand gripping his shoulder. He whispered something to him, and Edward nodded in response. Edward stood, looking stiff, and glanced over at Alice and me. When he saw Alice clinging to me, pain flashed across his face. His eyes moved to my face, and he stared at me, pleading with his eyes. But I had no idea what he was pleading with me about.

I didn't know what to say, so I just tilted my head toward the door, indicating for him to follow us. Edward watched me for a few more moments, then took a deep breath and started walking slowly toward us, Jasper behind him, looking concerned. I continued to lead Alice to the door, and once we were out in the hallway, I walked faster, wanting to get her to our room, just in case she hadn't had her full breakdown already.

Surprisingly, I remembered how to get back to our room without Alice's help. I didn't think I would be able to, since I hadn't paid attention when we were making our way there. Alice had calmed down marginally on our walk back, but she hadn't stopped crying. The tears were still making a steady stream down her face, but she was past her sobbing stage, thankfully.

"Do you still have the key, Alice?" I said quietly. She sniffed through her tears and nodded subtly. She dug one hand in her pocket and brought it out, handing to me. I gave her a small smile as thanks and slipped the key through, pushing the door open, holding it so Edward and Jasper could come in.

Once the door closed behind them, I let go of Alice cautiously, trying to make sure she would be able to walk without breaking down again. "Go ahead and sit down," I told her. She nodded and walked across the room to the couch, curling up into a ball at the very end of it. She stared down at the floor, not acknowledging that Edward was standing on the other side of the room, watching her with remorseful eyes.

I walked into the bedroom quickly and brought out a blanket for Alice. I laid it over her, and she pulled it around herself more tightly, as if it gave her a sense of security.

"Hey Edward?" I heard Jasper say quietly. I glanced behind me just as Edward looked back at Jasper to see what he wanted. "I think it'd be best for me to go," he said, searching Edward's face. "You'll be all right?"

Edward was silent for a few seconds, but finally he just nodded. Jasper came up to him and squeezed his shoulder, giving him a gentle shake. "Take your time, man," he whispered. "Work things out with your sister."

Again, Edward didn't respond verbally—he only nodded once again before Jasper slipped out of the door, giving Alice and I one last glance.

The silence and tension was tangible. It seemed like if I lifted my arm and swiped the air with my hand, I would see a tear in the veil of emotions that covered the room. I was extremely uncomfortable, and I didn't know what to do. I shifted from foot to foot, occasionally sneaking a peek at Edward, who remained on the other side of the room, staring at the floor. I mostly focused on Alice though, who, miraculously, had been quiet for the past fifteen minutes. Her tears had finally stopped, leaving her eyes red and a bit swollen.

"Come over here, Edward," Alice finally whispered. Edward's eyes flicked up to hers, and I was shocked to find that the tears that had been threatening behind his eyes had spilled over. Wet streaks covered both of his cheeks. He took slow steps as he walked past me and to Alice. He sat down on the other end of the couch, not facing her. Alice got up on her knees and crawled over to him, pulling him into a tight hug. He returned the embrace, rubbing her back in comfort.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry. I didn't think me leaving would cause so much hurt. I'm sorry."

Alice pulled away from him, giving him a shocked look. "Edward, what are you talking about?" she said. "You're part of the family and we love you. How could you ever think we wouldn't miss you?"

Edward looked down, staying silent. It was then that I realized I was crying too. I turned my head and wiped away the tears. The sibling bond that Alice and Edward had was so strong. It was so obvious. You could tell that Edward, her favorite brother, leaving had upset Alice greatly. And Edward didn't think that his family would miss him, but now he realized that he was wrong. The regret that poured off of him was painful to witness. I turned and started to walk toward the bedroom, feeling like I was intruding on their family reunion and wanting to give them some space.

"Bella?" Alice squeaked. I looked over my shoulder and both she and Edward were watching me. I looked down briefly, embarrassed to find Edward staring at me.

"Yeah?" I asked, turning my eyes back up, wondering if she needed something.

"Where are you going?" she said, her brow furrowing.

"The bedroom," I told her. "I just want to let you two talk without me bothering you." I turned back around and took another step, but Alice's voice stopped me again.

"No, stay," she commanded quietly. I looked at her, confused. Why would she want me to stay? If I were in her position, I wouldn't want someone listening in on my conversation. But it was Alice—you never knew her motives for what she did.

"Are you sure?" I wondered skeptically.

Alice's eyes turned to Edward, who had been looking at me the whole time. Sensing her gaze, Edward looked at Alice. Alice seemed to ask him a question with her eyes, while Edward nodded in response.

"Yes, stay," she assured me, nodding.

"Okay," I agreed. I went over to one of the comfortable chairs and sat down, curling my legs under me. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, hoping that I would fall asleep so I wouldn't feel guilty later about hearing Alice and Edward's personal conversation.

It was quiet at first, the only sounds being the breathing of the three of us. For a moment I thought either Alice or Edward had fallen asleep, but I didn't open my eyes to check. I wanted to give them as much of a sense of privacy as I could, even with me in the room.

"You never answered my question," Alice whispered, beginning what was sure to be a long conversation.

**EPOV**

"Bella?" Alice asked, her voice cracking from crying so long. I looked over my shoulder just as Bella looked over hers. A light brush of color rushed up to her cheeks, and she looked down at the floor for a moment. She was embarrassed? I had no idea what for, but I couldn't help but think that when she blushed, she was even more beautiful than she already was.

"Yeah?" Bella said. Her eyes locked back on my sister—they were full of sympathy.

"What are you doing?" Alice asked, her tone curious.

"The bedroom," Bella explained quietly. "I just want to let you two talk without me bothering you." She turned back in the direction of the bedroom. This woman was so kind, and she cared for Alice like she was her own sister. I owed her for that. I owed her for all the times she probably comforted and helped Alice when I wasn't there to do so, like I should have been. I was her brother, after all. I was supposed to protect her from getting hurt.

"No, stay," Alice ordered, the authoritative tone in her voice quiet. Bella looked confused by her command.

"Are you sure?" she asked, sounding strangely skeptical.

Alice didn't reply, but I felt her eyes on my face. I turned to her and read her question in her eyes. _'Do you mind?'_ she was asking. She wanted to know if I was okay with Bella staying while we talked. I could tell that she wanted her to stay, for whatever reason I didn't know—maybe for the security and comfort Bella presented. But I realized that I _didn't_ mind if Bella stayed. Normally I would not allow someone to listen in on a conversation so personal, but with her, I felt differently. She exuded a feel of safety and trustworthiness that made me comfortable in her presence. I nodded at Alice to let her know that I didn't mind.

She turned her eyes back to bell and nodded. "Yes, stay."

"Okay," Bella murmured, walking over to the nearest chair and curling up in it. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. I knew what she was doing, and I was thankful that she was being so thoughtful. She was such a kind person, trying to give us privacy, even with her present.

It was quiet. I didn't want to speak first, so I waited for Alice to begin. She was being unusually silent for her, and I wondered how badly I had really hurt my family. I knew that they had always loved me, but I didn't think that they would have missed me so much if I left. My parents had Alice and Emmett, and Alice and Emmett were close enough to fill the place I took in the family.

When I left that day a little over three years ago, I had left without goodbyes, only leaving a vague and insensitive note. I hated doing that, but I had no other way. If I had said my goodbyes in person, there would have questions. Questions about where I was going, why I was going, and how long I was going to be gone. Those were all question I either didn't know the answer to or wasn't willing to answer. I didn't want to lie to my family, and that would have happened if I had stayed around for an interrogation. They wouldn't have understood my reasons—why I had to do everything myself.

"You never answered my question," Alice whispered, watching my face intently. I stared back at her, my brow furrowing, trying to remember what question she had asked.

She must have read the confusion in my expression, because she helped by repeating it.

"Edward," she said. "I asked you why you thought we wouldn't miss you when you know full well that we all love you."

I cast my eyes downward, unable to look at the hurt and confusion that Alice's eyes held any longer. The truth was, I didn't really have an answer to that question. Yes, I knew that my family loved me, but I really hadn't thought about what it would do to them if I left so abruptly—no proper goodbyes or explanations. When I was gone, away from their love and kindness, it was easier to think that they wouldn't miss me. That they'd worry, but wouldn't be pained by my departure. But I was wrong—as usual—and I had royally screwed everything up and hurt them—the very last thing I had _ever_ wanted to do.

"Answer me Edward," Alice begged quietly. "Please."

The sadness in her voice sent a pang of ice straight to my heart. I felt like a cold-blooded monster to have done this to the only people who had truly believed in me and loved me since _it_ happened. How could they even consider forgiving me for that? How could they still love me after I had abandoned them so thoroughly?

"I . . . don't have an answer to that," I mumbled pathetically. I wished I had an answer for her. I wished I could explain everything to my family. But just thinking about it pained me, and I didn't want to relive what'd I had been doing for the past three years. I especially didn't want to relive the success—which was non-existent.

"You know damn well you have an answer," Alice growled. She took a slow, calming breath, and then her voice softened. "You just need to stop hiding things from us. There's no judgment here, Edward."

"I know that," I sighed, fighting the hot tears that stung my eyes. "I just . . . God, I don't know, Alice. I don't . . . I don't know how to . . . explain all of this . . ." I growled in frustration. I didn't know how I could give her some information without it hurting too much. I knew that I was being selfish, and that my family deserved to know, but I couldn't even fathom the idea of speaking any part of my painful past three years out loud.

"It's okay," she said sympathetically. I swallowed back the urge to tell her it wasn't at all okay. "How about you just start from the beginning?"

The beginning. Images flashed through my mind—images of what fueled my determination to do what I did the last three years. The kicks, punches, and cries of pain. The bruises and bloody gashes. The tears and shouts to run. The blasts of the gun as the bullets spiraled mercilessly into . . .

I shook my head vigorously, more to rid my mind of the agonizing memories than to respond to Alice. But Alice didn't know what was running through my mind.

"Edward, please." She grabbed my free hand and clung to it between the both of hers, squeezing tightly. The flood gates broke then, and my tears seared my cheeks as they streamed down endlessly. "Why won't you tell me? What are you afraid of?"

The pain. I was afraid of the pain. I was weak, and I couldn't handle it anymore, even though I had planned to after this trip. I was slowly tearing myself apart, never realizing I was bringing my family down with me.

"I . . . can't . . ." I sobbed, trying to breathe through the hysterics. My head was throbbing, my eyes stinging. The images still flashes dimly in my mind, only increasing the pain.

"Edward?" Alice said, panic obvious in her tone. She put her hands on my shoulders, shaking me gently. "What's wrong? Why are you like this? What happened?"

I shook my head weakly, not willing to try and force myself to speak. She was throwing too many questions at me at once—all of them in the category of questions I didn't want to answer. Suddenly, she wrapped her thin arms around my neck and held on tight, her strength surprising compared to her size. I rested my head on her shoulder, clinging to her as the memories came back full force. I watched them play out in my mind, sobs wracking my body the whole time. I was able to see everything so clearly, as if it was happening all over again, right before my eyes. The sounds were magnified, the colors purer. It almost seemed like I could even _smell _everything too. I wasn't sure how much more I could take of these flashbacks. They took their toll on me physically, but more mentally than anything else. When I left home, I had thought that I was strong enough to go through this, because I'd been living with it for so many years before. But soon I realized that I had only been dealing with the essence of the pain. I realized that I was not strong enough, and I broke down quickly. And now I was having my emotional meltdown, and it was even more horrible than I could've imagined as the memories crashed into me, drowning me.

Alice was saying something next to my ear, but I couldn't concentrate enough to decipher what she was saying or even if she was saying it to me.

And then I remembered Bella, who was sitting in the chair behind me, watching my humiliating breakdown. I couldn't even imagine what she thought of me, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I was too caught up in trying to push away the horrific scene that was still playing out in my head.

Slowly, I calmed down. My shaking and rocking slowed and then ceased, but the tears still flowed freely. My breathing was deep and slow as I tried to control it, and my death grip on Alice didn't loosen until I was sure I could hold myself together.

"Edward?" Alice whispered into my ear. She sounded terrified, and I couldn't blame her. I'd be running if I witnessed a meltdown like I had just had.

"Hm?" I managed to get out. I wasn't willing to form full sentences yet, just in case I lost it again.

"Are you okay?" she said, that same panic still lingering in her tone.

"That's a stupid question, Alice," I choked out. I couldn't help but let out a humorless chuckle at my response.

Alice giggled in relief. "Yeah, it is." She paused. "I'm sorry."

I pulled away from our embrace to look at her, ignoring my tears. "You sure as hell have _nothing_ to be sorry for."

She stared at me in slight shock, and I just glared back. If there was one person in this world who should be sorry, it should be me.

"I'm just . . . sorry for everything," she finally said, her eyes growing soft. "I'm sorry I played the guilt trip on you. I'm sorry I tried to force you to talk to me. I'm sorry that—"

"One sorry is enough," I muttered, interrupting her. "However completely unnecessary it is."

She glared at me for a moment, before saying, "It's not unnecessary."

"Ha," I barked. "_I_ should be saying sorry. A hundred apologies from me wouldn't even begin to cover the hurt I've caused."

"God, Edward," Alice sighed, exasperated. "You've obviously been through a lot. Don't put the blame on yourself when the blame isn't even on you."

"Alice, I _am _the one to blame."

"No, you are not." She was glaring again, and I could see the anger sparked in her narrowed eyes.

"Who _is _to blame then?" I wondered aloud, letting sarcasm drip into my every word.

"I don't know," Alice sighed. She looked at me sympathetically for a moment, then, "Whoever it was that made you like this."

I tensed and looked away. If only she knew how much I wanted to blame them . . .

"Why won't you tell me?" she whispered, pleading quietly.

"It's . . . too much," I said. My reply sounded confusing even to myself, but I didn't care. It was the best answer I could give without giving anything away.

"What's too much?" Alice asked gently. I could tell she was speaking carefully. She didn't want me to have another breakdown. _I_ didn't want to have another breakdown.

I shook my head, moving away from her and leaning back against the couch. I closed my eyes and focused on breathing, in and out, trying to keep any and all thought out of my mind. It worked at first, but I could feel Alice's eyes boring into my face. It was distracting, and I was unable to push away the uncomfortable feeling. I covered my eyes with the back of my hand, hoping to ignore her, but it was useless. Still, I didn't make an attempt to acknowledge her stare.

"Edward," she finally groaned, shifting on the cushions. "You are endlessly aggravating."

I snorted. "Sorry," I mumbled half-heartedly.

"I won't ask you to tell me everything," she said quietly. She tugged at the hand that was covering my eyes, and I eventually let her move it away. She didn't speak for a moment, and I expected she was waiting for me to say something, but I didn't.

"Look at me, Edward," she sighed. "Please? I want to know you're listening to me."

Slowly, I opened my eyes and turned my head. I met her eyes and what I saw only sent a pang of self-hate straight to my heart. Silent tears were falling down her cheeks; her eyes glistening with even more that were unshed.

"I won't ask you to tell me everything," she repeated. "But can't you at least give me _something?_ Please don't leave me in the dark, Edward."

I took a slow breath, trying to keep my thoughts together. I wanted to tell Alice everything. I wanted to tell my whole family everything. But it wasn't that easy. For me, at least, it wasn't. I wasn't sure how they would react to what I'd been doing the last few years, much more the reason I'd done it. They probably wouldn't think that I trusted them, which was not true. I trusted them all with my life, but it was something that I had to do on my own. I had felt helpless for so many years, and I hated it. So I had done something about it. But if anyone had known what I was doing, they would've have tried to help me, and that feeling of helplessness would have reappeared. It was just one thing that I needed to do on my own. Something that would make me feel like I _could_ do something.

"Alice," I sighed. "I can't tell you much. It's just . . . something that I needed to do. It was—is—important to me. I had to do it alone. I still need to do it alone. I'm sorry."

I watched her eyes, begging with my own for understanding, and hoping I would see it there. At first all I saw was sadness and hurt, and I willed it away. Alice was always happy and enthusiastic—all smiles and laughter. It was a very rare time when you saw her upset or crying. A tearful Alice just wasn't right—it didn't fit. And to know I had made her upset just made me even angrier with myself.

"I wish you knew that you don't have to deal with this alone," she finally said, her eyes finally filling with the understanding I had been dying to see. "But I understand, I suppose. You know that if you ever want to talk about it, you can talk to me, right?"

A smirk played at the corner of my lips. My sister was truly one of the best people in the world. "I know, Alice," I said. "Thank you."

She smiled—although it wasn't a truly happy smile, I noticed—and then hugged me again. I hugged her back, thankful that she hadn't pressed me any harder for information than she did.

"Love you, little sister," I said, chuckling for no real reason.

"You're an idiot, big brother," she laughed. I laughed with her as I pulled out of the embrace.

"I can't really argue with that," I admitted, rolling my eyes. She smiled and laid her head against my shoulder, closing her eyes. She looked exhausted with her eyes puffy and red. I pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders, and she held it around herself, unmoving.

"So how were the last years of college?" I whispered, wanting to lighten the heavy mood.

I felt her smile against my shoulder, and then she launched into a lengthy summary of what college life had been like, slipping in as many details as possible. She would yawn occasionally, but as she grew nearer to the end, they increased. I was about to tell her to stop talking and go to bed when I noticed that the room had gone silent.

"Alice?" I whispered. Her only response was her slow, heavy breathing. I smirked as I tried to move out from under her without waking her up. She shifted her head on my shoulder, and I froze, but she only stopped moving and continued to sleep.

"Do you mind carrying her into the bedroom?" a soft voice whispered from behind me. I turned around quickly, my eyes wide, and saw Bella standing up in front of the chair. I had completely forgotten she had been here for my entire humiliating meltdown. When her eyes met mine, color rushed up to her cheeks and she looked down at her feet, away from me.

"I was just thinking that, you know, it's Alice," she shrugged her shoulders lightly. "She probably wouldn't agree with sleeping on a couch."

I smiled at how well she knew my sister. "I agree," I smirked. "And I'd be glad to do that."

Bella looked up at me briefly, but when she noticed that I didn't look shocked anymore, she didn't look away. She nodded once and said, "Thanks."

"No problem," I said, smiling. I turned back to Alice, who was still deeply asleep, and tucked my arms under her, lifting her up carefully. Her head lolled back slightly, but she didn't open her eyes. Bella turned towards the bedroom and walked in that direction. I followed her, the silence between us awkward, yet somehow comfortable.

In the bedroom, she pointed to the bed that was Alice's, pulled down the covers and stepped away, never looking at me. I nodded in understanding and tucked Alice in, silently thanking her again for being the wonderful sister she was. As I turned away, I glanced at Bella. She looked uncomfortable as she stared at Alice, obviously trying to avoid my eyes.

"Bella?" I said quietly. She looked up at me, surprise in her wide brown eyes.

"Yes?" she whispered, trying to hide the curiosity in her voice.

"Can I talk to you for minute?" I asked, hoping I wasn't scaring her. "Out in the living room?"

She stared at me, not expecting the words that had just come out of my mouth. "Um . . ." she said, shifting her weight to her other foot.

"You don't have to," I assured her quickly. "It's just—"

"No," Bella interrupted. "No, we can talk."

"Okay," I nodded. I gestured for her to walk out first, and she complied, walking quickly out into the living room. I followed her out, and we stopped a few feet away from the door.

"I don't want to say much," I began, looking into her large brown eyes. "I just wanted to thank you. For taking care of my sister, for being her friend. I know she's a handful most of the time—" Bella chuckled in agreement. "But I'm glad she had someone to lean on, to trust. Thank you, Bella."

Bella looked at me for a moment, her expression a bit frazzled. For a moment I was afraid that I had made her nervous and uncomfortable—not like that would be new. I tended to scare people off, I'd come to realize. Normally, I wouldn't care so much, because being alone was easier on me. But with Bella, I felt differently for some reason. I didn't want her to be nervous around me—I wanted her to feel like she could talk to me.

"You're welcome, Edward," Bella whispered. I searched her face for any sign that she only said that because she felt compelled to, but as she stared back at me, all I saw was genuine kindness.

I nodded and glanced back at the door, then at Bella again. I held out my hand hesitantly, hoping to let her know that I wanted to be her friend. She eventually wrapped her small fingers around my hand and shook. I smiled gently at her, and she smiled back. I thrilled silently that the smile looked genuine.

"Well, I should probably go," I sighed. Bella nodded and turned to open the door.

"I guess we'll see you later?" she said a bit hesitantly. I smirked and nodded, stepping out into the hallway.

"Most likely," I said. "Thanks again, Bella."

She smiled. "No need for another thanks," she assured me. "Alice is my best friend. I guess actually _being_ a friend comes with the territory."

I chuckled at her reply. "Touché."

We said our goodbyes, and as I made my way back to my room, I felt a mix of emotions—guilt and anger at my poor explanation for Alice, and a strange sense of hope at meeting Bella.

One thing didn't change, though—the smile that I had been wearing since I'd left Alice and Bella's suite.

**AN: I'm not sure when I'll get chapter three out. I'll shoot for soon, though! Encouragement would definitely help that. Reviews = encouragement. So please, leave me more reviews! Thanks! :]**


	4. Ch 3: Coffee and Brownnosing

**Disclaimer: I'm sad to say I'll never own Twilight. It all belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Dang it.**

**AN: I know, I know, I'm so update fail right now. Shall I list my reasons for not updating sooner? Well, let's see—writer's block, the lack of Internet for about six weeks, and the fact that I've been very, very busy are on the top of the list. Six weeks with out Internet is torture, let me tell you. :P I would've had this up Thursday, but I kind of got stuck and couldn't finish it. Then I wasn't home all weekend. But finally, _finally _I've updated. So review, please! I don't even know if this story's worth it, considering I only have five reviews and more alerts. :\**

**Also, I've made a website for my fanfics. I have pictures of the ship and such, so check it out and leave comments! The website's on my profile. :]**

**Playlist: [These songs don't really relate to the chapter, by the way.] Vegas Skies – The Cab, She's Finding Me Out – The Friday Night Boys, Tonight – FM Static **

~.~

**BPOV**

After Edward left the room, I was left to ponder what I'd seen and heard. I still felt guilty for listening to their conversation, which had obviously been very personal, but I knew I couldn't really blame myself for staying. Alice had asked me to stay, after all, even though I had no idea why she had wanted me to. I couldn't be of any help, and I was just a third wheel—and uncomfortable presence in the room. Even though I couldn't figure out her reasoning, I had stayed because she was my best friend, like my sister, and had asked me to do so.

I could see no legit reason for Edward allowing me to stay, though. And after his nerve-wracking­­­­­­­ breakdown, I only felt like I was intruding. Edward seemed so broken, tortured. It was hard to watch him as his body shook with fierce sobs. Although I didn't want to admit it, I didn't think he was such a bad person after watching that. I could tell that he had a reason for leaving and having no contact with his family for so long, but I didn't understand why he couldn't tell anyone about it. Whatever it was, it caused him pain—that much was obvious.

I flipped on the TV and settled on a random channel, not caring what I watched. It was more a distraction than anything else. I checked the time and was shocked to find that it was only almost nine. Alice and Edward's conversation seemed like it lasted so much longer, but obviously, I was wrong.

I focused my attention on what was on the TV, forcing myself to pay attention to what looked like a documentary. I soon found out it was a documentary on the life of some sports star, and I was quickly bored. I clicked off the TV and sighed, looking around the suite. There wasn't much to do, and I couldn't clean to entertain myself, and I wasn't in the mood to read the books I brought. Glancing around again, my eyes finally resting on the glass doors of the balcony. I hadn't had the time to go out on it yet, and I was extremely curious as to what the view would look like.

I stood up and went over to the doors of the balcony, unlocking them and sliding them out of my way. I stepped out and was immediately hit with the chilly wind. I shivered slightly, but the overall warm summer temperature made it bearable.

The sky was dark, but very clear. The stars illuminated the night, making it easier to see the water sparkling in the moonlight. The ocean reflected the stars and the moon like a mirror, making it beautiful to look at. The air was filled with the smell of the salt water, but it also smelled clean, like the smell of the air after it rains. I took a deep breath, soaking it in. I leaned over the railing slightly, looking down at the water, closing my eyes and listening to the waves as the ship sliced through them.

"Bella?"

I turned around and saw Alice standing in the doorway of the balcony, her eyes tired and her spiky hair disheveled. Her arms were wrapped around herself, as if she was trying to keep herself warm. I smiled at her messy appearance.

"Hey, Alice," I said quietly. "What's up?"

She yawned and stepped up next to me, leaning over the railing like I had just been doing as I looked down at her curiously. She looked up toward the stars, breathing deeply.

"They're so beautiful," she breathed. I nodded, but couldn't help but notice that Alice's effervescent mood wasn't there. She was calm and serene, and that side of her I only saw when she had something on her mind.

"Are you okay?" I whispered, trying to be gentle about the subject.

"Yeah," she sighed. "My dear brother." She shook her head slightly, chuckling. "He's just so . . . _frustrating._"

I didn't speak. I knew that she wanted to talk about it, so I waited for her to continue and let out her frustration.

"He just doesn't get that we want to help him," she said, pulling her hand through her hair. "I know he's suffering through something. He just won't tell us what it is! Doesn't he realize that it hurts us to see _him_ hurting?" A few tears escaped, but she wiped them away quickly.

"I love him to death," she continued, "but he just so damn cryptic about everything. He needs to loosen up and stop being so uptight."

She smirked and shook her head again, letting out a humorless laugh. "That'd sure make everything so much easier." She paused. "Nothing works out that way, though, does it?"

I didn't know what to say to that. I'd seen Alice upset before, but it was never anything so personal, so important to her. I was afraid that if I spoke I would only say something that would make it worse. I bit my lip as I thought of what I could say to her, and finally settled on the most harmless phrase.

"I'm sorry, Alice," I murmured, making sure she knew it was genuine by the tone of my voice.

She looked over at me and rolled her eyes. "Thanks," she chuckled. "Sorry I'm dumping this on you. I know I'm not usually this emotional."

"You have every right to be emotional," I told her gently. "You just saw your brother who you haven't heard from in years."

"I suppose." She passed her hand over her face and yawned again. She looked up at me then, a glint in her bright blue eyes. I eyed her warily as she turned her eyes away from me, a mischievous smirk appearing on her lips.

"He likes you, you know," she said, her voice lighter. My eyes narrowed at her, but my brows furrowed in confusion.

"What?" I said, shock lacing my tone.

Her smile widened. "Edward," she clarified. "He likes you."

I snorted at her. "Please, Alice," I scoffed. "He hasn't even known me for a day yet."

"So?" she said, her tone implying that it didn't matter. "First impressions are extremely important, after all."

I rolled my eyes and ran my hand through my hair, exasperated. "Even so, he doesn't like me."

"Bella," Alice sighed, standing straight and staring at me, a stern look on her face. "I'm his sister, and I know Edward well enough to tell if he likes a woman. Trust me."

"I don't believe you," I muttered stubbornly.

"You don't have to believe me," she said, shrugging her shoulders. "I'm Alice. I know everything." She quirked her eyebrow and smirked at me again, daring me to deny her comment.

"Yeah," I sighed, holding back my retort. "I think I'm going to go to bed." I felt a sudden wave of exhaustion wash over me, and I yawned loudly. "I'm really tired for some reason."

Alice huffed in annoyance. "You really need to learn to quit avoiding conversations."

"I wouldn't need to avoid them if I didn't get roped into them in the first place," I mumbled, causing Alice to roll her eyes at me.

"I guess I'll go to bed, too," she said. "I'm exhausted after all of the drama."

I nodded and turned to the doors, which were wide open. Alice must not have slid them closed when she came out. Neither of us spoke as we made our way to the bedroom. I supposed that there wasn't anything more that needed to be said anyway. I had a feeling that she would still be somewhat quiet tomorrow, not yet back to her normally exuberant self. For once, though, I knew I was going to miss that side of her.

I changed into more comfortable clothes, brushed my teeth, and fell into bed. I pulled the covers around me, expecting sleep to come slowly because of my buzzing mind. But thankfully, I fell into unconsciousness seconds after my head hit the pillow.

~.~

Morning came all too soon for my liking.

I cracked my eyes open to see the light of the sun pouring through the small window between my bed and Alice's. My initial reaction was to squeeze them shut tightly and let my tiredness take over again and fall back to sleep. But I noticed the time on the digital clock on the nightstand, groaning quietly. It was 10:36 A.M., and that was much later than the time I would normally wake up.

I looked over at Alice to see her still sleeping soundly. Her breathing was deep and slow, and she still seemed tired enough to sleep through the day. I didn't expect it, though. I wouldn't be surprised if she woke up minutes after I got up. I didn't want to wake her though, just in case she wouldn't wake up soon.

I quietly gathered my toiletries and a set of clothes and made my way to the bathroom. I turned on the showerhead, waiting for the water to become warm. I undressed and stepped in, sighing as the soothing water washed over me. I closed my eyes and just stood there, letting the stream of water pelt my back, where my muscles were sore and tight for some unknown reason. My mind was blank for once, but that didn't last long. My moment of serenity was interrupted as last night's dramatic events came rushing back to me.

I let them come, not bothering to push them away. It would be a useless attempt anyway. I felt horrible for both Alice and Edward, because I had no idea what either of them was going through, and I knew I wouldn't be helpful or comforting in any way. They were both in pain, but for reasons that were obviously different. I didn't know how I could help Alice deal with it, and I wasn't sure I'd be able to get through the trip if every conversation she had with Edward ended in hysterics. I would end up feeling so helpless if I couldn't do anything for her.

But Alice was right—if Edward would just cooperate and answer her questions, everything would be a lot easier. That led to another question, though. What was so important to Edward that he couldn't share it with his own family, the people who've taken care of him his whole life? I could think of very few things that I couldn't tell my mother. And that's why you could tell anything to your family—they would forgive you and still love you no matter how royally you screw up. No judgments, as Alice had said. So what was holding Edward back?

Of course, it was none of my business anyway. Although Alice was like my sister and the Cullens were practically my second family, I had no right to pry into their personal, family related problems. I _wasn't_ truly family. If Alice needed me for something, support or comfort or just someone to talk to, I would be there for her. But I wouldn't ask questions and I wouldn't ask for any information.

I stepped out of the shower and dried off slowly, unsure of what I was going to do today. If Alice wasn't awake when I finished up my morning routine, I figured I would just explore the ship like I had been wanting to, possibly stop at some café, if there were any here at all. I wouldn't be surprised if this place was only stocked up with fancy, high-class restaurants.

I dressed and blow-dried my hair, thankful that Alice was a heavy sleeper. It took a little over ten minutes to dry my hair to its normal pin-straight, limp style. I ran a brush through it quickly, brushed my teeth and stepped out into the living room, immediately making my way back to the bedroom.

Alice looked like she hadn't moved an inch. She looked completely asleep—it didn't seem likely that she'd wake up any time soon. I grabbed my purse and searched around a moment for the room key. Once I located it, I grabbed my phone and some money and left the room with no specific destination in mind. I wandered through the hallways, admiring the beauty of the ship. Everything was spotless, just like I had first noticed when I stepped foot on the deck. There didn't seem to be one speck of dirt on the floors. I hoped I didn't have any mud or anything of the sort on my shoes. I couldn't help but think it'd be a shame to mar the cleanliness.

Eventually I found my way to the lobby, which was already packed with people. Some were dressed as if they were on a business trip, others looked like complete tourists with their cameras in hand, which was probably to be expected. I imagined I looked somewhere in between, just casual.

The walls of the lobby were lined with venders who were selling anything from jewelry to postcards. They were obviously employees of the ship though, because they all wore identical dark green polo shirts. The lobby was still very extravagant, though. The carpets and the decorations just screamed expensive—not to mention the huge, elegant chandelier that hung from the ceiling.

I made my way down the stairs and into the swirling crowd of people. Since the space was so wide open, I was able to weave my way through them without much trouble. I scanned the walls, seeing many fancy looking gift shops and a couple small restaurants. I was about to turn around and make my way back to one of the restaurants when I spotted the familiar sign of Starbucks. I couldn't help but chuckle a bit in disbelief. Who knew that such a high-class cruise liner would have a Starbucks? I would have expected some coffee shop with rare imported coffee beans and such.

I found my way to the door and walked in. I was a bit surprised to find that it wasn't all too busy. The place was less than half full—there were a few people seated at the tables in the corners, talking to each other quietly. It was a strange contrast to the Starbucks that I went to in Chicago. There it was always bustling with customers and people talking loudly, sometimes obnoxiously. I quite liked the difference, though. As opposed to the energy and noise, the calm, which I found here, was pretty relaxing.

After glancing over the menu for about ten seconds, I settled on something that wasn't strong—a French vanilla cappuccino. I had never liked the bitter taste of coffee, and I much preferred the blends that had more flavoring mixed in. I only ordered the stronger mixtures when it was early in the morning and I needed something to wake me up.

The young woman behind the counter looked around my age. She had sandy blonde hair and bright blue eyes. Her smile looked genuine as she handed me my cup, and her 'Have a nice day,' sounded authentic.

I walked over to one of the empty tables by the windows so I could look out at the people passing by. Unfortunately, there were a couple vendors blocking the part of the window, obscuring my view. I sighed and took a sip of my drink, wincing slightly as the hot liquid seared my tongue. I was silently wishing I had brought a book when the tiny bell on the door tinkled, indicating another customer. I looked up and was a bit shocked to see Edward walking in, holding a small Zales bag in his hand. I furrowed my brow, wondering who he could've bought jewelry for. He hadn't walked into the lounge last night with anyone besides Jasper. That didn't mean he didn't have a girlfriend, though. But then again, Alice had said he liked me . . .

But that didn't matter. It wasn't true anyway. Alice hadn't seen Edward in three years, after all. She wouldn't know if he had a girlfriend in the first place. But surely a guy as unbelievably gorgeous as Edward _would_ have a girlfriend . . .

I closed my eyes briefly, trying to shut out the thoughts. It didn't matter if Edward did or did not have a girlfriend. He wasn't interested in me, and we barely knew each other. There was no point in me swooning over him, no matter what the meddling matchmaker Alice said.

"Bella?" said a soft, velvety voice.

I looked up, a bit startled to see Edward staring down at me. He had an adorable smirk turning up the corner of his mouth, his emerald eyes bright. I could see faint purple circles under his eyes, like he hadn't had the best night's sleep. I was pretty sure he had the same circles the night before, but I had tried not to pay too much attention to him, as I was trying to give he and Alice privacy. The circles under his eyes definitely didn't lessen his beauty, though.

"Oh, hi Edward!" I said, trying not to make it too obvious that I'd been thinking about him ever since he walked through the door. I smiled at him as genuinely as I could, and his smirk grew into a breathtaking crooked smile.

"You mind if I sit here?" he asked, sounding a bit uncertain and pointing at the empty chair across from me. His smile didn't falter.

I blinked, surprised once again. I quickly recovered though, smiling and agreeing. "Of course."

"Thanks," he smiled, pulling out the chair and sitting down. He rested his coffee cup and Zales bag on the table and leaned back in the chair. He trained his eyes out the window for a moment, and I did the same. The silence was somewhat awkward for me, but looking at Edward, you'd think he was as comfortable as he could get.

"So," he eventually said, his voice betraying his comfort façade. "I didn't really get to talk to you much last night." He chuckled, sounding a bit embarrassed.

"I guess not," I said gently, smiling sympathetically. I didn't want him to get the impression that I was laughing at him, because I definitely was not. I wasn't going to shy away from him just because he had something painful burdening his life. But, as I'd promised myself before, I wasn't going to pry.

Edward stared down at the lid of his coffee cup in silence after I spoke. He definitely looked uncomfortable now, and he wasn't doing much to convince people he wasn't. I wanted to say something—something that would loosen him up, but I was afraid that I would say exactly the _wrong _thing, and Edward would feel even more awkward. Not to mention that I would, too.

"I'm sorry about what happened last night," Edward suddenly mumbled, a slight pinkish tinge flushing his flawless face. His eyes were still studying his cup with great interest, avoiding mine. I silently wondered why. Was he afraid that I would laugh at him?

I didn't reply to his apology at first. I looked at him in confusion for a moment, curious as to why he was sorry. When he realized I wasn't going to speak, he peeked up at me, looking through his long lashes, and my heart fluttered a bit. He noticed my expression and his eyes flicked down quickly.

"You know," he mumbled, waving his hand as if that would explain what he was talking about. "The whole—"

"You have no need to be sorry, Edward," I interrupted, my voice gentle and sympathetic.

Edward shook his head slightly. "I do, actually. I hadn't meant to run into Alice. If I had known she would be here, I wouldn't have boarded this ship at all." He snapped his mouth shut loudly then, as if he hadn't meant to say so much.

I was still completely confused. I was back to pondering the same question—why couldn't Edward just tell his family what was going on with him? So they could help him? He had just confessed that he absolutely did not want to see his sister, and that gave me another tiny piece of information. He wasn't just avoiding his family—he was running away from them. I couldn't help but wonder what he would've done if he had run into his parents here. Would he have kept everything from them, too?

"I'm just sorry," Edward sighed, raking his hand through his hair. "Hell, I probably ruined you and Alice's vacation by showing my face."

I was taken aback by his comment. He sounded so full of loathing. Not for someone else, but for himself.

"Edward," I said, my voice still quiet yet reassuring. "You haven't ruined anyone's vacation. Alice is thrilled to see you." It was mostly the truth. She _was _happy to see him. She wasn't happy that he wouldn't tell her a thing about what he'd been doing the past three years, and why he hadn't kept contact.

He chuckled contemptuously. "Thrilled," he muttered, almost to himself. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to hear it. "I'm sure she is. I'll be damned if she doesn't want to strangle me by tomorrow."

I stared at him, wide eyed. If I was being honest with myself, I was a bit terrified of this side of Edward. This dark, self-loathing, sarcastic part of him was nerve wracking; it seemed as if he could break at any moment. I had to admit, it scared me.

The silence lingered, heavy and tangible. We were past being awkward; now it was just intimidating. Edward stared at the table, his cup, anywhere but me, and I stared at the top of his head, at his bronze mess of hair. Neither of us spoke, though I desperately wanted conversation—some _lighter _conversation. Anything to break the tension. I was resisting the strong impulse to call Alice and make her come down here, just so she could work her anti-awkward magic. Nothing could become awkward with her—unless she was meddling in your love life, which, of course, she tended to do from time to time. Or always.

"I'm sorry," Edward apologized. Again. He sounded frustrated with himself.

"Quit saying you're sorry," I commanded, making sure my voice didn't sound snappy. "You don't _need _to be sorry."

Edward looked up at me for the first time it what seemed like the length of the conversation. His eyes showed something that looked like—bewilderment?

"I'm—" he started, but cut himself off quickly. He paused, still looking into my eyes, searching them.

"If I can't apologize, I don't know what else to say," he sighed, chuckling. His voice sounded quite a bit lighter. I grabbed at the chance to lift the mood.

"Well, you could tell me what's in the bag," I suggested, indicating the Zales bag that rested on the side of the table. "For a girlfriend or something?" I could've slapped myself as I felt the blush color my cheeks. What woman would ask that question without making it obvious that she was interested? I bit my tongue and ignored the flush on my face, hoping Edward would just shrug it off.

He quirked an eyebrow and smirked at me, his eyes flicking to the bag.

"No girlfriend," he informed me. "Actually, it's for Alice."

I couldn't help but thrill a bit that he was single, even knowing I wouldn't do a thing about it. I knew Alice would be ecstatic, but I was keeping to my word. I wasn't on this trip for the guys.

"Oh?" I said, curious. Why would he be getting Alice jewelry?

Edward nodded and smiled. "Yeah. I figured since you never know what mood Alice might be in—and on the off chance that she could be furious with me today and want to bite my head off—I thought I might try and soften her up with a bit of jewelry."

"You definitely know our dear Alice," I laughed as he went to pull out the jewelry. "If you don't mind my asking, what'd you get her?"

Edward smirked and held the blue box in his hands. It was a bracelet—that much I could tell by the shape of the box, which was elongated.

"Well, let me show you," he said.

He flipped the box around in my direction and opened it up, revealing a beautiful silver bracelet. I let out a small 'oh' of appreciation, because it definitely was beautiful and completely Alice. The bracelet itself was made of silver hearts linked together. I leaned forward to study it further and noticed clear, sparkling little stones set in each heart.

"What do you think?" Edward asked, sounding expectant.

"It's beautiful, Edward," I breathed, my eyes wandering back up to his face. He was smiling at me, causing me to instinctually blush. "Are those real—?"

"Diamonds?" he finished for me. "They are. Sterling silver and diamond. Do you think she'll feel like chewing me out after she gets this?"

I chuckled and glanced back at the bracelet. "Doubtful. But it's always surprises with Alice."

"Very true," Edward agreed. He paused a moment and looked down at the bracelet, then up at me. "Why don't you try it on?"

I stared at him in confusion, wondering why he would want me to put on Alice's bracelet.

"You know," he hurried to explain, looking nervous. "Just to see if it'll fit. I'm sure if it fits you it'll fit Alice."

"All right," I nodded, still curious. I reached for the bracelet, but Edward stole it out from under my hand. I looked up, yet again befuddled.

"I'll do it," he said, focusing on freeing the bracelet from the box.

I waited patiently, my eyes never leaving Edward's face. I hoped that if I watched him long enough, his perfect mask of nonchalance would slip for a second and I might get a glimpse of what he could actually be thinking. I had heard that some people could be read like a book, they were so open with their emotions and not at all successful in hiding them. I doubted it would happen, though. Edward seemed to be the master of hiding what he was thinking and feeling behind a mask.

"Hold out your hand, please," Edward commanded softly. I did as he said and held out my left hand. He wrapped the bracelet around my wrist and clasped the hook together. I watched his fingers as he did so, and I hadn't missed it when his fingers lingered on my wrist for a moment. He quickly pulled his hands away, though, but I couldn't ignore the tingling sensation where his fingers had touched my skin. I wasn't sure if I wanted to.

"Perfect fit," I heard Edward say quietly. I didn't look up at him, though. Instead, I brought my wrist closer to me and studied to bracelet with much more interest than was probably normal. I didn't particularly care, anyway. I just hoped Edward wasn't able to see my blush.

"It's so beautiful," I repeated, wondering how much it had cost. I knew one thing—it cost a good deal more than any piece of jewelry I could afford.

"Yeah," Edward agreed, his voice sounding somewhat distant. My eyes slid up to his face, and I found him staring at me. His green eyes held a weird look of interest, and I suddenly felt extremely self-conscious. Even as I looked away and blushed yet again, I could still feel his eyes on my face.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

I jumped a bit at the unexpected three-tone ring that indicated I had a text message. Thankful for a distraction from Edward and his staring, I bent over to grab my phone out of my purse. I found it quickly and flipped it open to see that the text was from Alice. I pressed view and read it quickly.

_Where are you?_

I let out a quiet sigh of relief. I knew when I answered her text she'd come down here and save me from the awkward silence that was ensuing. I wasn't sure how much longer I could stand it without becoming more uncomfortable than I've ever been.

_Im at the starbucks in the lobby. Edwards here too._

I pushed send and waited silently for her quick reply. I still didn't look at Edward, but the strange feeling that he was staring wasn't there anymore, and I was able to relax somewhat.

My phone beeped once again, and I opened it and read the message.

_Im on my way! Be there in a few!_

I slipped my phone back into my purse, already impatient for Alice's arrival. I figured it would be polite to let Edward know, so I turned my attention to him and spoke.

"That was Alice," I said. "She said she's coming down here."

Edward nodded, but he looked a little bit disappointed, and I wondered why. This man always left me confused. If I remembered right, this was somewhere around the fifth time he left me baffled. I figured everything he said was cryptic.

I began to reach for my coffee—which I was sure was cold by now—and remembered Alice's bracelet was still on my wrist.

"Oh, Edward," I said, regaining his attention. He looked at me curiously and I lifted up my arm a bit as I tried to unclasp the hook. "You might want this back. I don't think Alice would much appreciate her jewelry being worn my someone else."

"Let me get it," Edward said, moving my right hand away from the hook of the bracelet. He proceeded to remove it and rest it back in the box. He clicked it closed and set the box back into the bag, being quiet the entire time. I watched him as he did so, and I noticed that his unemotional mask was back. He looked completely at ease, but I knew it was a façade, since I had just witnessed it. I couldn't help but be annoyed by his mask of nonchalance. What was he hiding from everyone?

I grabbed my coffee and took a sip, only to set it right back down because it was cold and didn't have its normally appealing taste. The cup was still nearly full, and I felt it was a waste to leave it unfinished, but that didn't change my mind and make me drink it.

The bell on the door jingled, and both Edward and I looked around to see Alice walk in, looking as perky and enthusiastic as ever. She glanced around the shop slowly before finally spotting us. She beamed at the two of us, and I noticed the conniving glint in her eyes and they flicked between Edward and I. I tried not to scowl as I gave her a weak smile in return, the impatience I had been feeling at her arrival dulling.

She danced over to our table, smiling all the way and plopped down in the chair she pulled up.

"Morning you two!" she chimed, still looking back and forth between the two of us, suspicion lingering in her tone. I decided to let her know I was not at all in the mood for her meddling at the moment, so I narrowed my eyes ever so slightly at her and waited till she caught my eye.

"Morning Alice," I said, letting a bit of venom leak through my voice, hoping Edward wouldn't notice. "What's got you so giddy today?"

Her smile fell just a bit, only enough to notice if you were paying particular attention to her face. Her eyes narrowed, mirroring mine, as she understood my meaning behind my curtness.

_You will _not_ try to get Edward and I together, _I tried to tell her with my eyes. _He doesn't like me. It won't happen. _

For a moment she looked she was going to defy me and do whatever she wished, as she usually tended to do. But after a few more moments of mutual glaring, she let out a quiet huff and turned away from me, focusing on Edward.

"Hey Edward!" she exclaimed happily, leaning towards him and giving his a peck on his cheek. I smirked as a brief look of shock flashed across his features. He glanced at me and I quirked an eyebrow, and he smirked too in response before he looked back at Alice.

"Hey sis," he smiled, although I noticed the smile didn't reach his eyes. "How'd you sleep?"

Alice shrugged and grabbed Edward's coffee cup. "Pretty well, I suppose. I slept in later than I wanted to, though." She took a sip and made a face, immediately setting the cup down, giving a disapproving stare at Edward.

"Are you ever going to stop drinking that cheap stuff?" she said reprovingly. "I swear, you're almost as bad as Bella. Can either of you ever buy something that actually has a taste?"

I rolled my eyes at her in exasperation as Edward looked at her with amusement etched across his face.

"Well, Alice," he said. "The less than appealing taste might have something to do with the fact that it's cold now, and that it isn't your coffee of choice, I'm sure." Edward chuckled and moved the cup closer to the Zales bag, inevitably bringing her attention to it.

All thoughts about distasteful coffee gone, she said, "What's in the bag?" Her eyes were shining with interest as she looked curiously at Edward, who was smiling in obvious triumph.

"No worries, Alice," he said. "It's for you."

You would have never thought Alice could've been happier then she looked then. A wide, toothy smile broke out across her face and her eyes sparkled. "You bought me jewelry?"

Edward nodded and smiled back at her. "I did. Go ahead and open it up."

"Oh, Edward!" she squealed as she snatched it up, ecstatic. She glanced into the bag before grabbing the box and clutching it in her hands. She stared at it for a moment, still beaming.

"Open it, Alice!" I said, rolling my eyes and chuckling. She looked up and gave me a half-hearted glare, annoyed that I interrupted the suspense she was building. She couldn't stay angry with me for long, though, because two seconds later she was smiling again and flipping open the box to reveal the sparkling bracelet.

Her eyes wide, she let out an audible gasp and set it down on the table. She launched herself over the table at Edward and gave him a lung-crushing hug. I smiled as I saw an amused grin spread across Edward's face.

"Thank you!" Alice trilled, releasing Edward and allowing him to breath again.

He laughed. "No problem."

I doubted Alice even heard him, for she was busying herself with trying to hook the bracelet around her wrist. Edward offered to help, but Alice just waved his hands away and proceeded with the task herself. When she finally succeeded, she held her arm out in front of her to admire the bracelet, still smiling. Edward and I watched her, trying to hold in our chuckles.

"So what do you want, Edward?" Alice said suddenly, resting her arms on the table and staring intently at Edward. He looked stunned for a moment as he looked back at his sister, but then he blinked and attempted to fake confusion, which he did very well. His brow furrowed and his lips turned down ever so slightly at the corners.

"What are you talking about?" he said, sounding extremely convincing with his bewildered façade.

"You may have been gone for three years," Alice said, narrowing her eyes, "but that doesn't mean I don't remember your _ways._"

"And what are my _ways?_" Edward asked, sarcasm leaking through his voice. I could tell he was only enlightening Alice, trying to get himself out of danger's path. And an angry Alice definitely meant danger.

She rolled her eyes dramatically. "You know what I'm talking about, and I'm not going to sit here and explain it to you. So how about you do us all a favor and answer my question."

"Alice," Edward said firmly, his eyes locked on his sister's. "I don't want anything." He paused, and I could have sworn I saw a spark of inspiration flash in his eyes. "But if you don't want the bracelet because you think—"

"Whoa!" Alice yelped, jerking her arm away from Edward's reaching fingers. "You are _not _taking this back. Don't even think about it."

I choked back a giggle, realizing Edward's strategy. I had to admit, it was definitely clever, and was 99.9% guaranteed to always have the intended result. And as usual, that one percent wasn't even thought of in the process. Alice could never throw out perfectly good—and expensive, I was sure—jewelry.

Edward smirked at his victory, his shoulders relaxing a bit. "Fine." He held up his hands a bit as if to surrender. "It was only a suggestion."

Alice scoffed and clutched at the wrist adorned with the glittering bracelet, as if protecting it. I looked back and forth between the two as Edward smirked triumphantly and Alice scowled at him in annoyance. The two were definitely related. Their reactions were just like the other's if they were to switch places in the situation.

After a few moments of silence, I couldn't help myself but laugh at the hilarity of Alice's reaction. I took one glance at her scowling face and burst out in a fit of snorts and giggles. Both Edward and Alice looked around at me in surprise, and then proceeded with their own separate, yet similar, responses.

Alice narrowed her eyes at me and settled back in her chair, her irritation substantial around her. Edward smiled crookedly and began to laugh along with me, his eyes crinkling a bit as he grinned widely. I couldn't help but notice that I hadn't actually heard Edward really laugh. The most I'd heard were chuckles, the same for his smiles—all I'd seen were smirks or half-hearted grins. But I paid more attention to his laugh than anything else. It was like music as it rang around us, matching his velvet voice.

"I don't know what you two are laughing about," Alice huffed, "and I don't really care. But can we just talk about something else?"

Edward and I calmed ourselves down before we replied, afraid that we might burst out into another laughing fit if we spoke too soon.

"Sure, Alice," I smiled, ignoring her still disgruntled expression. "What do you want to do today?"

She perked up quickly, but it was a slower process than usual. "I don't know what we're going to do this afternoon, but tonight let's go to one of the restaurants!" She smiled, showing her sparkling teeth and glanced between Edward and I. "It's supposed to so nice!"

"And by _nice, _I'm assuming you mean _expensive_." I stated warily, not willing to blow all my money on some fancy restaurant.

Alice, for what seemed like the fifth time in the last hour, rolled her eyes. "Quit worrying about money, Bella. Live a little." She waved her hand dismissively and turned to Edward, effectively cutting off my next protest.

"You'll come, right Edward?" she said sweetly. "Oh! And you'll have to invite Jasper, of course."

Edward smiled knowingly and nodded. "Of course I'll come. No doubt Jasper will, too."

"See Bella?" Alice said, turning back to me. "Everyone's coming." She used a tone that made it sound like that solved every problem.

I opened my mouth to respond, but was interrupted by Edward.

"Please, Bella," he said kindly, smiling crookedly at me. "Join us. If it's the money you're worried about, I'll pay for you."

I blinked at him, shocked. I knew the offer was only out of kindness, but it was pretty much impossible _not _to be dazzled by him when he smiled like that. So, in my daze, I nodded mutely and agreed. Alice smirked at me and quirked her eyebrow, her eyes glowing. Edward turned his eyes to the window, looking a bit embarrassed. I did the same, knowing that I was the one who had made things awkward.

"Well, I guess that settles everything," Alice said finally. "Edward, you and Jasper meet us at our suite a little bit before seven, okay?"

Edward nodded, but didn't acknowledge his understanding verbally. He didn't look over at me at all, I noticed.

"Great!" Alice trilled, smiling brightly. "Oh, and dress nicely, but nothing extremely fancy."

I wrapped my hands around my cup and clutched it nervously, not having nerve to look up at either Edward or Alice. Fancy restaurants meant nice clothes, and nice clothes meant Alice dressing me. Alice dressing me always led to me being forced into a dress. And not to mention those cruel death traps people called heels. A pair of heels plus one person who's particularly accident prone and klutzy equals disaster and humiliation.

Of course, that one person was me.

I couldn't _wait_ for tonight.

**AN: Oh, you have to love sarcasm! I know I do. :] Kind of uneventful, yes, but I'm building. Just hang on for the ride that's coming. ;]**

**Next chapter . . . I don't know. Soon. Maybe. Hopefully. :P**

**REVIEW PLEASE! They're the only things that make me want to continue this!**


	5. Ch 4: Dinner Date

**A/N: I've been MIA forever, I know. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I apologize and I really hope you guys give this story a chance again, even if it's been so long since you've read it, I'm sure. My apologies and ranting are at the end of the chapter.**

"Oh, Bella, stop being such a baby about this!"

I huffed in annoyance, my shoulders sagging. Alice had been playing Barbie with me for the past three hours, and I hadn't hidden the fact that I was less than pleased. She had made it a point to ensure that I understood that I absolutely could not defy her attempts to dress and make me over. And although I gave in, that definitely did not stop me from voicing my frustration.

"Alice," I muttered, staring at her concentrating face in the mirror. "I really doubt there's much more you could do with me. You've already succeeded in making me look like a completely different person."

I looked into the mirror, glaring at the face that wasn't mine glaring right back at me. By no means had Alice over-applied my makeup, but she knew how uncomfortable I felt with my face covered by powders and colors. I examined once more the pale, neutral eye-shadow that coated my eyelids and the unnecessary brown liner that had been traced around my eyes. The black mascara she had applied had elongated my lashes and made them seem quite a bit thicker than usual. The powder that clung to my face made my already clear skin look somehow smoother. As I stared, I started to realize that I still looked like myself, just... a more than ordinary version.

"Ow!" I winced. My scalp stung slightly where Alice had shoved a bobby-pin through my hair. I grimaced at her.

"Sorry!" she mumbled, too focused on her work to give me a genuine apology. She stuffed a couple more bobby-pins through my curled hair, holding half of it back. Before I knew it, a can of hairspray had been shoved in front of my face.

"Here, take this," Alice ordered. "Spray some of this all over your hair while I go get your dress."

I rolled my eyes. "I know how to use hairspray," I grumbled at her.

I watched her as she hurried out of the bathroom. I could tell she was absolutely thrilled about the makeover she had nearly completed, and even more excited about tonight. My heart stuttered as I thought about how tonight would turn out. I groaned out loud, already feeling the humiliation that was sure to come. What was even worse was the fact that Alice had definitely given me this glamorous makeover solely for the purpose of impressing Edward.

"Bella!"

I jumped and spun around. Alice stood in the doorway, holding one of the many cocktail dresses she had forced me to pack. I sighed internally.

"Have you sprayed your hair yet?" She looked at me, somehow knowing full well that I hadn't. I looked away from her and lifted the can up to my hair.

"No, I'll do it!" Alice hung the dress on the door and stole the can out of my hand before I could press down on the nozzle. She began spraying a steady stream into my hair, and I tried not to inhale. Only a few seconds later, she set the can on the sink counter and smiled proudly at me in the mirror.

"You look absolutely gorgeous!" she squealed with delight. "Now, put on the dress and the shoes. Edward and Jasper should be here any minute!" Alice practically skipped out of the room and shut the door behind her, leaving me alone.

I stood and walked over to the dress, running my hands over the smooth material. I remembered briefly the time Alice had spent forcing me to try on every dress she'd packed for me. As frustrating as it had been, I was glad she had agreed on this one. It was a one-shouldered, deep blue flowing dress. It wasn't too tight, and it didn't reveal more than I was comfortable with. If I was being honest with myself, I really did like it. I quickly undressed and then slipped into the outfit. As I stepped in front of the mirror to see how it looked, I heard a light knock our room's door. My heart lodged itself in my throat and my nerves kicked in full force.

"Shit," I muttered, glancing toward the door. It was then that I remembered the shoes Alice had mentioned. I looked at the floor, seeing the death spikes she expected I wear. They sparkled slightly and the heels looked to be at least two inches tall.

_That's two inches too tall for me to walk without falling on my face, _I thought to myself.

Someone knocked loudly on the bathroom door. I started, and my mouth hung open in shock, thinking it could be Jasper or Edward at the door.

"Bella, it doesn't take this long to get dressed! Hurry, the guys are here!"

I let out a shaky breath, relieved that it was Alice. "I'll be out in a second!" I said through the door. She didn't respond, so I figured she had left me to finish.

I reach for the first death trap that was called a shoe and slipped it on, fastening tightly around my ankle. After I put on the other, I stood slowly, silently hoping that if I feel tonight, it would be right now, where no one would see it. I took the few careful steps to the door and put my hand around the handle. Before I could talk myself out of it, I opened the door and stepped out into the living room.

I didn't even have a moment to balance myself before Alice had launched herself at me. She flung her arms around me, squealing with delight, then pushed me back to examine me.

"Oh, Bella!" she said excitedly. "This is why you should always let me dress you and do your makeup!"

"Alice," I said, warning in my tone. "You're about to knock me over. Calm down, please."

She looked at me for a moment, perplexed. Then realization dawned, and she giggled, looking down at my feet. I rolled my eyes at her, already feeling the oncoming blisters that these shoes were sure to induce.

"Stop thinking so much about falling, Bella, or you're sure to do just that," Alice said, a conspiratorial smirk turning up one side of her mouth.

"Thanks so much for the encouragement," I grumbled sarcastically.

"Bella, you look beautiful."

I blinked and turned my head toward Edward, who I had only now just remembered was in the room with us. He was looking at me with a slight smile playing on his lips. He was wearing a black suit, with a deep blue shirt that nearly matched the color of my dress. The coincidence of it just reeked of Alice's meddling. I realized that I was staring like an idiot at him, but it was hard not to. _He _was beautiful.

"Um..." I stuttered, struggling to keep my voice from shaking. "Thank you." I felt my face heat up with my signature blush. _Great, _I thought to myself. _The night's just started and I've already embarrassed myself. Way to go, Bella._

"Okay, you two," Alice interrupted in her sing-song voice. "Let's go, or we'll be late!"

I looked away from Edward and to Alice, who was smirking at me knowingly. I glared at her as she walked past me and toward the door. I watched as Jasper opened the door for her, gesturing for her to go ahead.

"After you, ma'am," she said politely. He was every bit the southern gentleman he seemed to be. Alice swooned as she stepped out of the room, Jasper following her. Edward went to the door and stopped it before it closed, holding it open for me.

"After you, ma'am," he said, imitating Jasper's slight accent. I couldn't help the small giggle that escaped. Edward grinned and looked down at the floor, and I swooned a little, as Alice had, at how charmingly adorable his modesty was.

I quickly stepped through and listened as Edward shut the door and began walking behind me. I knew it probably seemed rude that I wasn't stopping to wait for him, but I also knew that it would be extremely awkward to do so, considering I barely knew the guy. I looked up and saw Alice and Jasper walking ahead of us. Alice's arm was linked through Jasper's, and she was laughing at something he had said. It was ridiculous, how easily smitten she had become with him.

"It's sweet, isn't it?"

I jumped a little, and looked up at Edward, who had caught up to me without my noticing. He walked along next to me, his eyes focused on his sister and friend ahead of us.

"Yeah," I agreed, smiling a little. "Alice always falls quickly, but for some reason, this seems different."

Edward didn't respond, so I kept my eyes on the ground in front of me, trying to focus on not tripping over my dress, or my feet, or the ground in general. I was painfully aware of Edward's presence next to me. It kept my heart beating at ten times its normal rate and my stomach doing nervous somersaults. I played with the little clutch purse Alice had insisted I bring, although I found it completely pointless. All I had inside were my cell phone and money for dinner.

At the thought of the money, I remembered yesterday, when Edward had offered to pay for my dinner. I groaned internally, humiliated by his offer. Why would he offer to pay for me when he hardly knew me? Was it out of pity? Or maybe he just felt obligated because I was Alice's friend? _Chill out, Bella, _I scolded myself. _You really do over-think things._

"We match," Edward said suddenly, amusement laced in his voice. My face flamed again, and I let out a nervous laugh.

"Yeah," I mumbled. "Weird coincidence, huh?"

Edward chuckled lightly. "Hardly," he said. "I suspect it has everything to do with an intervening Alice."

A genuine laugh escaped from my lips, although it was mainly induced by surprise. "I thought the exact same thing," I informed him.

We reached the elevator, which had just slid open. Alice and Jasper stepped in, and I noticed that Alice was clutching Jasper's arm still. She obviously wasn't intending to let go any time soon. As Edward and I entered the elevator, Alice looked at us, her eyes gleaming.

"So," she said. "What were you two talking about?" I glared at her, willing her to keep her mouth shut and her focus on her new boy toy.

"Nothing too important," Edward replied, smirking. "Just about meddlesome sisters who like to color-match peoples' clothing without their knowledge."

Alice wasn't the least bit phased by Edward's reply. She rolled her eyes and smiled widely. "Oh, don't go complaining about it." She looked over at me, then back at Edward. "You two look cute."

I gaped as inconspicuously as I could at Alice. Humiliation of the night part two, completed. I averted my eyes, looking everywhere but at Edward. I couldn't imagine what he was thinking at the moment—probably annoyed that his sister was trying to make us look like a couple.

"Not as cute as you two," Edward remarked, staring pointedly at Alice and Jasper. I bit my lip, trying not to laugh at Alice's expression. Her eyes widened and her face flushed almost as red as mine usually did. Jasper smiled widely, not even slightly embarrassed.

The elevator dinged quietly and the door slid open, effectively ending the awkward conversation that we had been participating in. Alice stomped out of the elevator, Jasper in tow. I tried to glance up at Edward without him noticing, but he was already looking at me with an amused grin and laughing eyes. I couldn't help but smile back.

We left the elevator and followed the perturbed Alice into the crowded lobby. I could see the restaurant across the cavernous room, but with the ridiculous amount of people milling about, it seemed unlikely that we were going to make it through the crowd without losing sight of Alice.

A hand rested itself lightly against the small of my back, and I jumped forward out of surprise. I looked back and saw Edward, who looked thoroughly embarrassed, dropping his arm to his side.

"We should get going before we lose track of Alice and Jasper," he mumbled, pointing in their general direction.

"Oh," I squeaked. I nodded quickly and began to walk. "Yeah, we should hurry." In my peripheral vision, I could see Edward start up after me. I turned my eyes forward and found Alice and Jasper in the crowd, locking my eyes on them. More quickly than I expected, I was walking into the restaurant just as Alice and Jasper were stepping up to the host. As Edward appeared behind me, we went over to stand with the other two.

"Four, please," Jasper said. The man behind the host stand nodded and looked down at the chart in front of him. Alice let go of Jasper and turned to me, an excited smile on her face.

"Isn't it gorgeous in here?" she said, a little too loudly for being in public. She looked up and gasped. "Oh! Look at the chandelier!"

I looked up and noticed the huge, sparkling chandelier that hung above us. It definitely was beautiful.

"I'm very sorry, sir," I heard the host say. "But the only tables available are doubles. Is there any way that would work for you?"

I stared at the host, who waited for an answer from Jasper. "Oh!" Alice shrieked. "I'll sit with Jasper!" She scrambled over to him and linked her arm through his once more, grinning. He chuckled at her enthusiasm.

"That's quite alright with me," he said sweetly.

"Well," Edward said as he stepped up next to me. "I suppose that means we'll be dining together." I glanced up at him. He was smiling slightly, but his eyes looked nervous. I couldn't fathom why.

"Um, yeah," I said quietly, the realization that I would be having dinner with Edward, alone, dawning on me.

"Only if you don't mind, of course," Edward said quickly. I heard him shuffling around next to me as he waited for my answer.

"Of course she doesn't mind, Edward!" Alice interrupted, always the one to interfere. I looked at her and glared. She smiled at me, ignoring my angry expression, and pulled me closer to her. I stumbled over as she put her mouth up to my ear.

"Bella, just go have freaking dinner with him," she whispered. "It's obvious he wants to, and I know you do too." She let go of me and turned back to the host. "Two different tables is perfectly fine," she said happily.

The host nodded and smiled back. "Alright, ma'am. You can follow me, and you," he said, speaking to Edward and I, "can follow Marcus." The host grabbed two menus and led Alice and Jasper away, while another host, Marcus I presumed, stepped toward us, menus in hand.

"This way, please," he said, leading us toward the other side of the restaurant. Edward and I walked in silence. As awkward as I felt the silence was, I felt like saying something would only make things even more awkward. So, I stuck to studying the groups and couples that were already seated throughout the restaurant, all laughing and talking. I could only hope that Edward and I's dinner would be as comfortable, but that seemed unlikely.

We finally stopped toward the back of the restaurant, stepping into a small room full of double tables that were all occupied by couples. _Oh God, _I thought. _This night is just getting worse and worse. _Marcus led us to the side of the room and set our menus down on the empty table, leaving us alone. I stood, frozen, for a moment, unsure of what to do, but before I had time to move, Edward was pulling my chair out for me. I looked up at him, and he was smiling a charming half smile, but he didn't speak.

"Thank you," I mumbled, sitting down as gracefully as I could manage.

"Sure," Edward said quietly. As he lifted his hand away from my chair, I felt his fingers accidentally skim against my shoulder. I gasped quietly, shocked by the contact, and goosebumps erupted across my flesh. Thankfully, Edward hadn't noticed my reaction. I watched him as he sat, but he didn't lift his eyes to mine. In fact, he seemed to be making it a point to avoid looking at me. I couldn't really blame him. I would be embarrassed to be having dinner with me too. I was acting like a lovestruck teenager.

Edward opened his menu and began skimming. Only a few moments later, he set it down and finally glanced up at me. An amused smirk lifted his lips.

"Have you already decided what you wanted?" he asked me. My mouth formed an 'O' as I realized I had been staring at him instead of decided on what I wanted to eat like a normal person. I clumsily picked up my menu and began diligently looking through it, ignoring his question. I tried my best to ignore the feeling of his eyes on me.

"Bella?" Edward said, encouraging me to look up at him again. I did, and he looked a bit contemplative.

"Yeah?" I asked, curious as to what he could have to say.

"Well... I—," he began, but was cut off by our waitress, who appeared at our table with a fake grin and bored eyes.

"Hi, I'm Cheyenne," she introduced herself, a little too cheerily. "How are you doing tonight?"

"We're doing well, thanks," Edward said. He looked a bit irritated by her interruption, but his response to her sounded nice enough.

"That's wonderful!" Cheyenne said, her tone turning sickly sweet. "Can I get you anything to drink?" I looked up at her to see that her eyes were firmly glued to Edward's face. I rolled my eyes at how obvious she was being, but honestly, I couldn't blame her too much. Edward, after all, was not lacking one bit in the looks department. Plus, I know I had caught myself staring at him just as she was. Although I'm sure my stares were quite a bit less suggestive.

"Bella?" Edward said. I blinked and looked over at him. He smiled when my eyes met his. "What would you like to drink?"

"Oh," I said, glancing up at our waitress. She was reluctantly turning her attention away from Edward and onto me. She plastered her fake smile across her face again as she waited for my order.

"I'll just have raspberry tea, please," I muttered, pursing my lips at her rudeness. Cheyenne nodded and turned eagerly back to Edward.

"And for you, sir?" she asked sweetly. She exaggeratedly batted her lashes at Edward, and I couldn't hold back the quiet giggle that escaped. I just couldn't believe her forwardness. I mean, Edward was obviously extremely attractive, but she was just being ridiculous.

Edward looked over at me and smirked before turning his eyes back to Cheyenne. She smiled coyly at him, her pen poised and ready.

"I think we'll have a bottle of your best champagne," Edward told her. I could hear the amusement in his voice, but I forgot all about it as I realized what Edward had just ordered. I couldn't afford expensive champagne, but I certainly couldn't let Edward pay for the whole bottle himself. I glanced at him with a '_What the hell are you doing?' _expression, hoping he'd understand. Unfortunately, he didn't even have the chance to notice my stare, because Cheyenne spoke up again.

"Oh, is there a special occasion?" she asked, disappointment leaking through her words.

My eyes widened in shock at her question, and I looked over at Edward, who seemed just as surprised. Before I could deny her assumption, though, Edward spoke.

"Something like that," he said, giving Cheyenne a dazzling smile that was sure to keep her disoriented for the next hour. That didn't stop her from frowning in disappointment, though.

"That's great," she said, her words leaving her lips with absolutely no genuineness whatsoever. "I'll be right back with your drinks." She spun on her heels and headed through the mass of tables, leaving us alone. I watched her until she disappeared behind a wall.

"Well," I said, trying to sound amused as I turned towards Edward. "Looks like you've got an admirer."

He smirked at me and shook his head. "Maybe I did," he said. "But I think my last comment steered her away."

"You made her think we were together!" I blurted out. I snapped my mouth shut, shocked by my outburst.

Edward's smirk disappeared and he looked down, anywhere but at me. I immediately felt horrible as I realized how rude I had sounded—as if someone thinking we were together was the worst thing. I mean, there were definitely worse things in the world.

"Um, sorry," he apologized, interlocking his fingers on top of the table. "I guess I just figured it'd be the surest way to keep her from making the evening unpleasant."

I stared at him. He actually wanted to make sure the evening was pleasant? By making sure a girl didn't flirt with him? I felt my face redden, and I looked away from him. Did that mean he was okay with having dinner with me?

"Oh," I said, forcing myself to look at him again. "No, Edward, it's fine. I'm sorry I kind of yelled that at you. It was rude. I was just... surprised, I guess." I bit my lip, humiliated yet again.

Edward nodded slightly, still avoiding my eyes. "Well, alright," he muttered. "I do apologize, though, Bella."

"It's okay," I assured him again. Then, silence surrounded us. Neither of us spoke, and my mind scrambled for a topic of conversation that wouldn't end in a lengthy and awkward silence like this one.

"By the way," I said quickly. "Why would you buy their best champagne? I'm sure it's expensive and I can't let you pay for all of it, but I only brought enough for my food and drink. I guess when the night's over I can pay you back, but I mean—,"

"Bella," Edward interrupted, cutting me off. I stopped and looked at him. He looked slightly amused and also a bit confused.

"I told you last night I'd pay you for you," he said in a matter-of-fact tone. I gaped at him, my mouth hanging open, unsure of what to say.

"I... I can't let you do that, Edward," I stuttered. "That's way too much."

"Please, Bella," Edward said, his eyes honest and his charming smile playing at his lips. "I told you I would, and I will. I want to."

"Oh," I said breathlessly, giving in. I didn't have the will to argue with him when he was looking at me like that.

"Thank you," he grinned, dazzling me. I nodded wordlessly, idly wishing he would stop smiling like that. It was hopelessly distracting, and it was sure to make me start blushing.

"Here's your tea."

Cheyenne reappeared out of nowhere, setting my cup in front of me. She then turned her back to me and lifted up the small ice bucket that held the champagne to show Edward.

"The best in the house," she said, smirking seductively.

_Damn, she doesn't give up, _I thought to myself, slightly annoyed. Cheyenne set down our champagne glasses, then the ice bucket. She took out the bottle and uncorked it, pouring into Edward's glass first, of course. After she poured mine, she stuffed the bottle back into the ice and pulled out her mini-notebook, watching us expectantly.

"Are you ready to order?" she asked. Edward looked to me and I nodded, gesturing for him to order first. Once Cheyenne had finally left us in peace, I lightly huffed and rested my back against my chair.

"Maybe my comment earlier only encouraged her to try harder," Edward said, his lips pursed.

I giggled a little at the annoyance that crossed his features. He was adorable when he was frustrated. His eyes moved to me and he raised his eyebrows, looking thoroughly amused. _I seem to constantly amuse him,_ I thought. I wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing.

"Is something funny?" he asked me, unable to hold back his smirk. His eyes were shining. I blushed yet again, and shrugged.

"Only the face you were making just now," I stated, biting my lip and trying not to laugh again. I failed, spitting out a short string of giggles.

Edward grinned. The smile met his eyes, and they crinkled at the corners, making him look incredibly handsome. I had to smile back.

"You know," he said, his green eyes locked on my face. "I really meant what I said earlier."

I felt my eyes widen. "What?"

"That you look beautiful tonight," he clarified. His eyes didn't leave mine. He was serious, and I was speechless.

My cheeks flamed, and I looked away in an attempt to hide my face. He was just being nice, wasn't he? Being complimentary to his sister's friend, that's all. I tried to convince myself that that was the only reason. The silence stretched out between. I had to think of something, anything, that would change the topic.

"Why did you leave your family, Edward?" I spat out, without thinking of how rude the question was. His grin disappeared and his face visibly darkened. He leaned back in his chair, away from me, and crossed his arms over his chest, avoiding my eyes. I was horrified by what I had said, and I scrambled to take it back.

"I'm so sorry," I apologized. "I had no right to ask that. I'm sorry, please forget about it." I pressed my lips together to prevent myself from rambling. Edward didn't move an inch.

_Oh, shit, _I groaned internally. I wanted to smack myself—scold myself like a child for being so rude and careless with my words. The night hadn't been going too horribly, until I allowed myself to open my big mouth. I just had an uncanny knack for turning decent situations to shit.

Edward refused to look at me. I stared at him, willing him to look up and smile, or at least tell me I was being an asshole. I just wanted him to say something or do something. Anything that would show me that he wasn't going to ignore me for the rest of the night.

_Miss Fluttering Lashes and Seductive Smile would certainly love to find out that Edward was ignoring me, I'm sure, _my subconscious muttered. I ignored the thought and focused on the man across the table. His eyes were cast downward, and he looked distracted. From this angle I could see the sharp features of his face clearly. He seemed tired. Not sleepless-tired, but emotionally tired, bone-tired. The circles under his eyes stood out to me now, and the stylishly messy hair he sported seemed to point to more than just a fashion statement. More like a 'something is emotionally bothering me so much that I don't care to look after my appearance' statement. Edward was haunted by something. You could see it in his face, his appearance.

"Edward..." I said quietly, trying to gently coax him into talking again. "Are you okay?" I knew it was a stupid question; he obviously wasn't. But I had to start somewhere.

At first, he didn't respond at all. Suddenly, though, his palm slapped onto the table, making the dishes rattle lightly. I jumped and my mouth popped open in shock. I looked around. A few couples near us were eyeing us suspiciously. Embarrassed, I looked back at Edward, who was clenching his hand into a tight fist. His eyes were squeezed shut, as if he was trying to avoid seeing something.

"That's hardly your damn business," he growled. I gaped at him. His mood had changed so drastically. I was shocked and slightly nervous. Edward was seriously angry.

"Y—you're right," I stuttered, trying not to sound as nervous as I felt. "It's not. I'm sorry." I averted my eyes from him and stared down at my fingers. I began playing with the button of my clutch, trying to distract myself from thinking about how much I'd upset Edward. Suddenly, it vibrated. I was surprised until I remembered that my phone was inside. I fumbled to unclasp the clutch and pull my phone out. When I looked at the screen, I saw that I had a message from Alice. I quickly opened it and read through it.

_Can you meet me in the bathroom? I have to know how things are going!_

I sighed, dreading the coming Alice inquiry. I had to step away from Edward, though. He still hadn't looked up at me, and I assumed if I didn't give him a little space, he'd blow.

_Be right there. _

I pressed send and stuff my phone back into my clutch, mentally encouraging myself to speak to Edward again. I sucked in a breath and looked up at him. He _still _hadn't moved from his previous position—hand fisted on the table, eyes closed and face turned downward.

"Um... I'll be right back," I said uncertainly, pushing back my chair to stand up. "Bathroom."

I noticed Edward's slight nod, and then I hurried away. I exhaled and forced myself to calm down. If I was all fidgety, Alice would realize immediately that something was wrong. I remembered that I had no idea where the bathroom was, so I hunted down an employee who directed me in the right direction. As I walked through the door, I saw Alice touching up her makeup in the mirror. She turned to look at me, and her eyes lit up with sheer excitement. She let out a loud squeal and ran over to hug me.

"Oh my God, Bella!" she exclaimed, practically jumping up and down with enthusiasm. "Jasper is so ridiculously dreamy. He's so sweet, and such a gentleman! And _oh, _that accent!"

I grinned at Alice's swooning. I knew she would go for him from the moment she saw him. And I'm sure Jasper was no doubt enjoying himself too. Alice's charm was irresistible to nearly every guy, after all.

"I knew you and Jasper would hit it off so well," I said, trying not to laugh at the invisible mini hearts that were basically radiating from her person. I bit my lip to keep from giggling. Alice's eyes narrowed, and she glared at me.

"What are you laughing at?" she said, putting her hands on her hips.

"Oh, nothing," I said quickly. "I can just tell that my dear Alice is in love." I dragged out the word love in a taunting way, knowing it would make Alice all flustered.

"Oh, stop it Bella!" she muttered, pushing my shoulder. "I'm not in love! I'm just interested."

"Sure, sure," I said, shrugging my shoulders in mock-agreement. Alice only rolled her eyes in response, but then I saw her mischievous smirk turn up her lips, and I knew her questions were coming.

"So," she began, "how's it going with Edward?"

I couldn't help but let my smile fall. I looked away from Alice and tried to think of a way to distract her from continuing on this path, but nothing came to me. _Great, _I thought. _I'm going to have to lie. _I was a horrible liar, and Alice knew it.

"It's... fine," I said as convincingly as was possible. Alice narrowed her eyes at me. _Crap. _She knew I was lying.

"Is that so?" she asked, accusation laced through her tone.

"Yep," I said, nodded enthusiastically.

"Lying to me has never worked before, Bella."

I sighed and still refused to look Alice in the eye. "I just... asked him something without thinking about what I was saying. And it kind of upset him, I think."

To my surprise, Alice laughed. I stared at her, having no idea why she would be laughing at my admission. I gave her a 'What the hell?' look until she noticed that my eyes were on her.

"He'll get over it," Alice giggled. "He's always overreacted about things, Bella. I'm sure by the time you get back, he'll have calmed down."

I pursed my lips, very skeptical about what she was saying. Edward sure hadn't looked like he was going to calm down any time soon. He had looked downright pissed off.

"Stop doubting me!"Alice scolded. She spun me around and shoved me toward the door. "Go back out there! And get out of your head for once."

"Thanks for the encouragement," I grumbled. I stepped out of the bathroom with Alice on my heels.

As we went in our opposite directions, she turned to me with her sing-song voice. "Have fun!"

I ignored her out of frustration and took my time getting back to the table. When I approached, I noticed that our food had been served, but Edward wasn't eating. He was examining the dining room and the people around him with strange interest. I slowly advanced toward him, but he didn't notice me.

I pulled out my chair and sat down, which caught Edward's attention. His eyes focused on my face.

"Bella," he said, surprised evident in his voice.

"Sorry I took so long," I said, eyeing Edward's and my food. "Why haven't you eaten yet?"

Edward's brow furrowed at my question. "I was waiting for you."

"Oh," I said. I didn't know what else to say.

"I'm sorry," Edward said suddenly. After seeing the confusion on my face, he clarified. "For getting so angry."

"Don't apologize, Edward," I said firmly. "It wasn't right of me to ask something like that."

Edward nodded slightly, then smiled a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Let's just forget about it and eat, alright?"

I agreed, and we dug into our food. We didn't speak as we ate, and for once the silence wasn't so awkward. More than once, I caught myself staring at Edward as he ate, watching his lips close around the food and chew. Each time, I blushed furiously, and was extremely thankful that Edward wasn't paying much attention to me.

Cheyenne rarely returned to our table to check on us, and I was quite glad for that. I felt like her presence would only make things awkward again. When we had finished eating, Cheyenne popped up next to us. She set down the check in between us, leaning over a little more than was necessary while doing so. I'm sure had been given a great view of her chest. Internally, I rolled my eyes. I was glad to be shy and awkward after seeing her flaunt herself all over Edward. It was embarrassing to watch.

"Here's your bill," she chimed. Edward pulled out his wallet, and, without even bothering to look at the amount on the bill, he slipped his card inside with it. He handed it back to Cheyenne, then turned to smile shyly at me.

"I'll be right back," Cheyenne announced. Neither of us acknowledged her as she walked away.

"You're really going to have to let me pay you back for this," I said, hoping he wouldn't argue.

"Absolutely not," Edward said, his eyes narrowing at me, daring me to defy him.

I sighed dramatically, prompting Edward to smirk. His eyes very obviously studied my face. He looked like he was contemplating something. I couldn't imagine what. This man was so utterly confusing.

"Would you maybe want to go up to the main deck with me for while?" he asked, cocking his head to the side as if he was genuinely curious as to what my answer would be.

Was he asking me on a _date? _I mean, this dinner would probably be considered more of a date then hanging around the main deck, but this dinner wasn't originally meant to for just the two of us anyway. Now Edward was asking if I wanted to spend more time with me—to prolong our time alone together.

_Stop over-thinking, _my subconscious scolded me. So I did, and blurted out the first thing came to mind.

"Why me?" I sputtered. Edward's brows knitted together, looking confused. I felt the stunned expression form on my face as I realized what I had said. I scrambled to change my reply.

"I mean, yeah, sure," I said hurriedly, fidgeting in my seat. Heat climbed up my neck and throughout my face.

Edward gave me an unsure half-smile. I bit my lip, refusing to say another word until he did. But for once, I was thankful when Cheyenne showed up to interrupt us. She took her time handing back our bill, and I rolled my eyes as she purposely skimmed Edward's fingers as she handed him a pen to sign the receipt. When that was all sorted out, Edward wasted no time in getting up to leave. He stood and waited for me to to join him. He held out his elbow, looking at me cautiously, yet expectantly. After a few moments of staring at him in confusion, I realized he wanted me to take arm.

_Oh, _I murmured to myself wordlessly.

"Shall we?" Edward said as I hesitantly threaded my arm through his. I felt hyperaware of him when we were touching like this. It made me nervous and overly self-conscious.

As we walked through the restaurant, I noticed many women staring at Edward and some glaring at me with envy. _No need to be jealous ladies, _I thought with a small amount of disappointment. _It's not like he belongs to me._

The amount of time it took us to reach the main deck was filled with semi-awkward silence. Well, it felt awkward to me. Edward, on the other hand, seemed completely calm and at ease. It slightly aggravated me. Here I was, all flustered and nervous by this contact and proximity, and he wasn't even phased.

When the smell of the ocean hit me, I sucked in a slow breath. The wind was chilly, but not so much that I was cold. It was a refreshing breeze. Edward and I halted at the ship's railing, and I closed my eyes and let the night air soak into me.

"Look at the stars," Edward murmured, sounding awed. I opened my eyes and looked upward. I gasped quietly, amazed at the brilliance I was gazing at. The sky was splattered with bright, white stars. They seemed to blanket the night sky thickly. There were so many of them—so much more than I had ever seen, even during my camping trips with Charlie in Washington.

"Wow," I breathed, unable to look away. My inattention to anything else around me kept me from noticing Edward as his body tensed beneath my arm that was still woven through his. Suddenly, he pulled away, making me stumble a bit. I looked up and saw him stalking away from me, down the length of the boat. His whole posture was rigid—his fists clenched.

Without thinking, I slowly started to follow him, but he was fast, and he was only walking quickly. His long strides kept him many feet ahead of me.

I glanced around me, only then realizing that the main deck was nearly deserted. The chilled wind suddenly made goosebumps rise on my flesh. When I turned my head back to where Edward was, he was no longer there. I stopped. Where had he gone?

A shocked yell pierced the quiet, and I jumped. My feet began moving toward the direction the voice had come from, going against all of my better judgment. The same shout sounded from my right, and I skidded to a halt, looking at the half open door next to me. The sounds of a scuffle came from within.

With a shaky hand, I pushed it open. What I saw made my stomach lurch and the breath go out of me.

"Oh my God," I gasped.

**A/N: So... It's been a while. A really long while. And I'm going to apologize from the bottom of my heart to those who have actually bothered to read this story and also enjoyed it. I thank you so much for doing so. Honestly, I stopped writing this story because I didn't know what to do with it, so I got bored, and then kind of forgot all about it. But now I'm back, and I'm really going to try super hard to keep up with it. If there are any of you who are still following this story, thank you and I'm sorry for disappearing.**

**Another thing—after reading through what I've already written in this story, I've seen a lot of inconsistencies, and I'm sure you've all seen them too. I started this thing two years ago, and I feel like I've become somewhat more mature with my writing, so I'm sorry if this chapter seems a bit different. I need to get back into the flow of these characters and such. Now, I'm going to correct all of those inconsistencies in this author's note.**

**1. So, I'm going change my mind about some things relating to the cruise. It's still going to be a European cruise, but more specifically, a Western Mediterranean cruise. In case you were wondering, they'll be going to Spain, France, and Italy.**

**2. We're just going to pretend that Alice and Bella also flew to Barcelona, Spain to board their ship.**

**3. Edward left his family about five years ago instead of three, a few months before Bella moved to Forks. **

**That's all I can remember right now. Hopefully that cleared any confusion up? Just a fact that I'm sure is obvious; I know nothing about cruises, which is why things were so inconsistent. Plus, I didn't bother to research anything, which I've done now. Things still might be incorrect though, so I'm sorry in advance for any mistake I make!**

**Well, I hope you guys somewhat enjoyed this boring and overly long chapter (When I actually bother to write, I have a problem with sometimes writing too much—sorry about that). I know it's super uneventful. Like I said, trying to get back into the flow of it. Give me a chance, and thank you!**

**P.S. Sorry for the super long author's note!**


	6. Ch 5: Attacker

**Disclaimer: The Twilight Saga and its characters all belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

**Recap: Bella becomes Alice's barbie doll for the sake of getting Bella ready for dinner with Edward. Bella, Edward, Alice, and Jasper arrive at the restaurant to find out there are only tables for two available, and Alice and Jasper run off with each other, leaving Bella and Edward alone for a very date-like dinner. The waitress flirts with Edward, Bella asks a question that pisses Edward off, then Edward pays for the entire dinner, including a very expensive bottle of champagne. Edward invites Bella up to the main deck, then Edward randomly runs off and Bella sees something horrible.**

**A/N: I'M SORRY I SUCK AT UPDATING DON'T HATE ME. :(**

* * *

My stomach was churning with the contents of my dinner. I felt so nauseated, but I couldn't move. My eyes were glued to the horrible scene in front of me as my mind reeled with shock. I wanted to say something, but the only things that escaped my lips were wordless gasps.

The open door led into a small room that seemed to be nothing more than a storage room for the pool deck. A multitude of beach chairs and lounges were stacked on top of one another, and some pool cleaning supplies were shoved into the corner. My mind barely processed these things, because I couldn't tear my eyes away from the man in front of me.

A tall, lean man was sitting on top of one of the beach lounges, but his head was slumped forward, as if he was asleep. The longer I stared at him though, the more my eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room and the clearer the details became.

He wore a white polo that I had seen worn by many people around the ship, indicating that he was an employee. Light colored pool towels were splayed over his lap and onto the lounge as if he had been carrying them, but had dropped them by accident. There were dark spots soaking some of the towels, and my eyes widened as I realized that it was blood. I looked up to find that the man was bleeding from his nose, which looked slightly morphed into an unnatural shape. He wasn't asleep, he was unconscious.

"What the hell?" I murmured in horror. A guttural sob sounded from my right, and I stepped through the doorway and glanced hesitantly toward the noise.

Edward was sitting in one of the beach chairs with his head in his heads. His whole body was shaking. His long fingers tugged fiercely at his hair, making it become even more unruly. I listened to his gasping breaths, rooted to the spot, unsure of what to do and even more unsure if I could do anything at all.

"Edward...?" I whispered, half hoping he would just ignore me so I could escape back to my room. As I had wished, Edward did not respond. His sobs only became harsher. Listening to him, I knew I couldn't just leave him alone. He sounded like a tortured man, and even if I couldn't help him, I would at least stay with a desperate hope that my presence might somehow be soothing.

I stepped toward him, and, ignoring the fact that I was wearing a very expensive dress, knelt on the floor before him. I began to extend my hand toward his arm, thinking it may be a gesture that would calm him, but quickly thought better of it. I settle on resting my hands in my lap.

"Edward..." I murmured again, uncertainly. I heard his breath hitch and his body tense at the sound of my voice, and I leaned away from him, thinking I had upset him even more.

I examined his face from where I sat, feeling my heart squeeze with sadness for him. His eyes were shut tightly, a stream of tears leaking from the corners. His cheeks were doused with already shed tears, and the rest of his face was red with the exertion of his sobs.

I felt so badly for him. Without thinking, I reached out for him again, toward his shoulder. My fingers had barely grazed his shirt when his hand shot out to grip my wrist, effectively halting my attempt at comforting him. I gasped in surprise and looked up at him, then immediately tried to pull out of his grasp.

The face I looked into wasn't the dazzlingly handsome one I had been seeing all night. This was a different face. Edward's eyes were wide and unfocused, his emerald green irises intense and the whites turned red due to his tears. There were two thin, bloody scratches across his cheekbones. His jaw was set tensely, looking as if he was trying to keep himself from shouting. But over all, his face was emotionless. He was looking right at me, but his eyes seemed to see something else.

Suddenly, he flinched, and his hand tensed around my wrist, causing me to flinch with him. I looked away from his haunted face and at my captive hand. I don't know how I hadn't noticed it before, but his hand was bloody, his knuckles scraped. Then, it all clicked. Edward had beaten that man—just a random ship employee. I had understood that before, when I first gazed upon this horrible scene, but I hadn't thought too much about. Edward seemed to be many things—tortured, emotionally unstable, moody—but I never would have thought violent.

"Oh, God," I gasped, horror and fear overwhelming me. I scooted backward, trying to free myself, but Edward would not let go. He continued to stare at me with eyes that were seeing something other than the terrified girl before him. He didn't seem to be aware of what he was doing.

"Let go of me!" I pleaded desperately, clawing at his bloodied fingers, trying to ignore the sticky fluid. For a few sickening moments, I remembered that the blood on his hand was the other man's, and I let out a strangled sob. Hot tears seared my face, and tried to force them back, but I was panicking. I couldn't focus on anything other than freeing my wrist from this man—a man whom only a few moments ago I wasn't even slightly afraid of.

"Edward," I sobbed, staring into his unseeing eyes, _"please!"_

Something seemed to click within him. He blinked a few times, his eyes seeming to focus on my face. His brows knitted together in confusion until he looked at our hands. His eyes rounded out and his fingers released my wrist. Blood was smeared onto my skin, but I jerked my arm into my body without hesitation and scrambled backward. Edward watched me with a pain-stricken expression, looking unsure of what to do with himself. Suddenly, he seemed to remember something, then he turned his eyes upon the unconscious employee that was occupying the room with us. Realization dawned in Edward's eyes, and his mouth popped open as a breath escaped him. Then, a multitude of emotions flitted across his face—disgust, shock, horror—finally settling on that same terribly pained expression he had been wearing a few moments ago.

"Shit," he rasped quietly. He shot up, not taking his eyes off of the man.

"Shit," he said again, beginning to pace. "No, no, no!" Edward's voice was rising, and he was tugging his bloodied hand through his hair again. As I caught a glimpse of his face, he looked like he was panicking more than I was.

Suddenly, Edward stopped. He stared at the wall for a moment in complete silence, then spun around and stalked out of the small room, leaving me alone with the bloodied and unconscious man. I considered staying here for only a moment, but my panic overwhelmed me again, so I stood and hurried out of the room.

When the ocean breeze hit my skin, I shivered. It was much colder out than it had been before. I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to keep the goosebumps at bay. I looked around, assuming that I would see Edward stalking quickly down the main deck, but I didn't. I shivered again and began walking. My legs were slightly shaky, and I tried my best to stay balanced in my unreasonable heels. The click of them against the deck was too loud in the quiet night.

As I approached the pool, I began to think about Alice. She would probably be wondering where we had disappeared to. There's no doubt she had more than likely texted me multiple times asking how things were going. I sighed. I didn't want to deal with that right now.

I wondered if Alice knew about Edward's violence. Had he always been that way? I couldn't understand why Edward had just decided to beat an innocent man. I mean, there's no logical reason for him to do something like that, was there? He couldn't have known the man or anything. We were on a foreign cruise, after all. What were the odds of him knowing an employee?

I pictured the man's bloodied and broken nose and Edward's scraped and equally bloodied knuckles. I shuddered. Without warning, my mind conjured up an image of Edward savagely beating the poor guy with no mercy. I shook my head, pushing the image away.

There was no way I could make sense of it or justify what Edward had done. I could only repeatedly ask why. My train of thought led me to think about what would happen when the man woke up, beaten and bloody. Would he go to the ship's security? Would he remember what Edward had looked like? Would Edward be arrested?

_Oh no, _I groaned internally. Instead of feeling sorry for Edward, I thought about how Alice would react if she found out her brother had been arrested for attacking a man. She would be devastated. It would ruin her whole vacation.

I then remembered the blood that ringed my wrist. I halted and lifted my arm upward. The blood had dried, and it felt crusty and disgusting as I moved my wrist around. I dropped my arm back to my side and shut my eyes, trying to calm my nausea. I couldn't walk into the crowded lobby with dried blood on me. How creepy and suspicious would that be? Edward's face popped into my head. He was covered in more dried blood than I was, plus he was bruised and scraped up. Had he already walked through the lobby? Had people noticed him and his mussed up appearance? What would they do to him?

I began panicking again. I couldn't just let Edward get arrested. Even if he had terrified me for the several moments we had been in that room, I could tell that he hadn't been thinking rationally at the time.

"Edward?" I called out. I kept my voice below a shout, but it was loud enough so that if he was near, I'm sure he would hear me. I began walking again, scanning the pool deck.

"Edward?" I said again, a bit louder this time.

"Bella?"

I came to a stop and looked frantically around me. As I turned around, I saw Edward getting up from a bench, looking at me with a wary expression. I examined him quickly, noting that he looked even worse than before. The blood that had leaked from the cuts on his face was dried up on his cheek, and so was the blood on his hands. His hair was in complete disarray and I could see that it had a bit of blood dried in it too. He looked utterly exhausted.

"You can't walk through the lobby looking like that," I said, noticing that my tone sounded like I was scolding a child.

I urged my legs to move toward him. As I approached, he seemed to shy away from me slightly. I stopped and waited for him to say something, but he only watched me with half-closed, tired eyes.

"I know," he mumbled finally. I looked down at my hands, unsure of what to say next. I assumed finding somewhere to wash away the blood on us would be the best choice.

"We need to find a bathroom or something," I said, looking around, "to at least rinse off this blood."

Edward nodded. "The locker rooms are around the corner," he said. "We could see if they're unlocked."

"Okay." I began walking along the the edge of the pool and listened as Edward fell into step behind me. I rounded the corner and went straight to the closest door, not bothering to look at the label indicating which gender the room usually was occupied by. Momentarily, I wondered if maybe Edward would rather we went into our respective locker rooms, but ignored the thought. It was easier to just use the same one.

I turned the handle and was mildly surprised to find that it turned easily. The door opened into the dark locker room.

"Well, that doesn't seem smart," I murmured to myself. I felt blindly along the wall for a light switch, finally finding one and flicking it on. The fluorescent lights buzzed quietly above us, and I squinted against them, willing my eyes to adjust.

I walked further into the room, headed toward the the clean, white sinks. I heard Edward's footsteps as he silently followed behind me. I couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking right now.

I reached the nearest sink and turned on the faucet. The water rushed out in a steady, cold stream, and I immediately began scrubbing at my wrist, eager to remove the blood. As the dried up pieces washed themselves down the drain, I began to notice that the skin of my wrist was lightly bruised with the outline of fingers. I stared for a moment, shocked that the bruise was so noticeable. Edward's grip around my wrist had been strong and slightly painful, but I hadn't expected his grip to leave a mark.

I heard a gasp, and I looked over my shoulder, remembering that Edward stood behind me. His expression was pained and his mouth was open in shock. I put my arm at my side, trying to hide my bruised wrist from him, because I knew that's what he was looking at.

Stepping out of the way, I gestured with my other hand toward the still running water.

"Your turn," I muttered, trying not to look directly at him. He moved forward, and I thought he was going to listen to me and begin washing himself off, but he didn't. Instead, he reached out for the arm I was hiding, gently pulling it closer to him so he could examine it.

He ran his fingers lightly across my bruised skin, making me shiver a bit. He wouldn't stop staring at my wrist. I watched his face as his forehead creased deeply.

"I did this," he whispered, pain and disgust leaking through his words. He dropped my arm and turned away from me, setting to work, scrubbing his hands with major concentration.

I watched as the water turned red and swirled down the drain, waiting for Edward to say something else, but he was too focused on his task. As his skin became cleaner, I could see the scrapes and cuts that covered his knuckles and the back of his hands. They seemed very shallow and not at all serious.

_I'll have to see if I can find something to clean them, _I thought idly.

Edward hissed through his teeth, and my eyes snapped up to his face in the mirror. He was gently trying to wash away the dried blood on his cheek, doing his best to avoid the scrapes there.

"I should clean those," I said out loud, prompting Edward to look at my reflection in the mirror. He seemed confused again.

"No," he said, focusing on his scrapes again, "you don't have to."

"But I'm going to," I said firmly. Edward paused for a moment, then only nodded.

We were both silent as Edward gingerly rinsed away the dried blood from his face as best as he could. Occasionally I would catch him glancing at me in the mirror, but then we would both look away, embarrassed for noticing each other staring. A few minutes later, Edward turned the faucet off and straightened. He ran his still damp hands through his hair, which ended up bloodying them again. He looked at his hands, frustration flitting across his face. He quickly scrubbed his hands once again, then turned around to face me with a look of determination.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he said.

I stared at him, unsure of what to say. I couldn't say it was okay, because it most definitely was not. Beating an innocent person was just so wrong. The images of the bloodied and unconscious employee and Edward's distress kept popping up in my head, forcing me to remember how terrible the scene had been. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't push away the thoughts.

Eventually, I nodded and decided on a simple and harmless reply. "I know," I said, averting my eyes.

Edward was silent. I was about to mention heading back, but he beat me to it.

"Let's go," Edward snapped. He turned and headed to the locker room door. I was a bit shocked by his small burst of anger, but I followed him out, flicking off the lights as I went.

We walked quickly, and I struggled to keep up with Edward's long strides. He hadn't stopped to wait for me, nor did it seem like he was going to. His ignoring me was mildly frustrating, but I kept my smart remarks to myself, not wanting his temper to escalate.

Edward's hands were fisted tightly, and he looked tense. I didn't understand why he had become so angry, but I decided it was best not to ask. As we entered the lobby, people eyed Edward curiously. I wasn't surprised. He looked disheveled and worn—everything about his appearance gave away that he had been in a fight. I watched as he turned his face downward. I wasn't sure if it was to hide the scratches on his face or to avoid the crowds' glances.

As bad as I felt for Edward for having everyone's prying eyes on him, I was glad they weren't staring at me. Still, I kept my eyes on the ground and tried to focus my mind on not tripping over my dress.

As we emerge at the other end of the lobby, it occurred to me that maybe Edward didn't want my company. Maybe that's why he was angry. He was annoyed by my presence. I looked up at him, noticing that his posture was still tense, and he still hadn't slowed down for me. I gave up on trying to keep up with him and contemplated saying something.

"Edward?" I squeaked, hesitant. I stopped and hoped he wasn't still angry.

He looked over his shoulder, and upon seeing that I had stopped, he halted himself. "What's wrong?" He looked concerned.

I stared at my hands and bit my lip. "Um..." I began. "I was just wondering if you wanted to be alone or something. I'll let you be if that's what you wanted. I'm sorry I didn't think to ask before." I bit my lip again to prevent myself from babbling.

"No," Edward said quickly, sounding a bit panicky. I took a chance and looked up at him. His eyes were wide and he had turned to face me.

"Oh, I—"

"Don't go," he said. He turned his eyes away. "Please."

"O—okay..." I stuttered. Silence hung between us as we avoided each other's glances. I scrambled for something to say.

"Well, lead the way," I nearly whispered, gesturing weakly. Edward nodded with a look of relief on his face and continued heading it the direction we had been going. He headed towards the nearest elevator and pushed the call button once he stood in front of it. I was just as tense as he was. Although the lobby echoed with the multitude of voices the silence between Edward and I rang painfully in my ears.

As we stepped into the elevator, an older couple followed behind us. I warily eyed them as the man pushed the button for the 6th floor. Neither of them looked at us at first, but I knew it would only be a moment before they noticed the scraped and bruised Edward next to them. Although I knew it would be useless, I slowly moved in front of Edward, hoping my small frame would somehow hide him from the couple's eyes. My efforts were pointless, of course. As soon as I moved, the woman glanced over at the two of us, and her expression was that of shock and then concern.

"Oh my," she said quietly. She raised her hand to her mouth. "Are you alright, dear?"

Her question was directed at Edward, but as I felt his body go rigid behind me, I knew he wasn't going to answer the woman.

I took a shaky breath, trying to calm myself. "He's fine," I nearly whispered, for fear that my voice would be wobbling. She stared at me, obviously unconvinced. I smile weakly, hoping she would just let the whole matter go.

"I think he should be taken to a doctor," the man said. His expression was much less concerned as it was suspicion.

I bit my lip, unsure of what to say. How could I defend Edward's appearance when I knew full well that he had beaten an innocent man unconscious? The couple watched me expectantly, but I could do nothing but stare back helplessly.

The elevator dinged, and I nearly jumped at the sound. The doors slid open, and I realized that we had stopped at Edward and I's floor. Without thinking, I reached behind me for Edward's hand and pulled him out before the doors shut us in with the too curious couple. I led us down the hall, but soon remembered that I wasn't sure whose room we were heading to. I slowed down, then noticed that I still had my hand firmly gripped around Edward's.

"Bella."

I stopped immediately and dropped Edward's hand. I didn't turn around, though. I was too afraid to look at his tortured and exhausted face. "Sorry," I muttered, deciding that was the safest thing to say at the moment.

"Bella," Edward said again. I peeked over my shoulder and glanced at him. His face was blank and unreadable. He no longer looked tortured or in pain.

"My room's here." Edward gestured to his left. Unsure of how to respond, I only nodded. Edward reached into his pocket and pulled out his room key, making quick work of unlocking the door. He pushed his way inside, but didn't wait for me to follow. Before I could be locked out, I slipped my way into the room behind him.

I wasn't sure what I was expecting Edward's room to look like—maybe something more dark and scary, more dungeon-like. Something that was more akin to his tortured personality. But the room was as simple and cookie cutter as mine and Alice's room, nearly identical.

I looked up to see Edward stripping himself of his suit jacket and his tie. His movements were fluid and graceful. He seemed perfectly calm, although I couldn't understand how he could be. Maybe he really was someone more dangerous than I thought. No one could be so composed after nearly breaking down as Edward had.

"You look so afraid." I blinked, realizing Edward was referring to me. He stared me through shining eyes. I could feel the tenseness of my shoulders and my back, while his entire body had released all of it's rigidity, as if every last bit of his strength had left him.

The couch screeched under his weight as Edward fell back onto it. He threaded his fingers through his coppery hair and tugged harshly at it. I almost winced. It looked as if he _meant _to pull his hair out. His glassy eyes were trained on the ceiling, and it was then that I realized he was crying. Silent tears traced paths down his cheeks, but he made no move to wipe them away.

Before I could think about it, my feet propelled me forward, and then I was sitting next to Edward. Although from farther away Edward's face seemed a perfect emotionless mask, up close I could see the small details that showed the pain he was trying desperately to hide. The corner of his down turned mouth twitched ever so slightly, and I could hear him slowly breathing through his nose as if to calm himself. His tears continued relentlessly, making the green of his irises even brighter.

I lifted my hand to his cheek, wanting to stop one of the tears making its way across Edward's skin. But before my hand reached him, he flinched and turned away from me. I jumped back, my mouth hanging open wordlessly.

"I'm...I'm sorry..." I whispered, embarrassed by my impulsiveness.

"You apologize too much," Edward replied, his face still turned away from me.

"I'm sorr—." I snapped my mouth shut and looked down at my hands. Maybe silence was my best bet.

Edward didn't speak. Neither did I. I was starting to think that maybe I should have left Edward to himself after all. I knew I should be afraid of him, but I couldn't bring myself to be. Every time I looked at his face, all I could see was someone who had suffered nothing but pain for a very long time, and I couldn't help but want to empathize. I wanted to ask him what he had been through that would cause him so much suffering. I wanted to help him.

Suddenly, Edward swiped his hand over his face, resulting in a hiss of pain through his teeth. Remembering the scratches on his hands and and face, I jumped up to search for a first aid kid. "Your scratches need to be treated," I said. I was given no response from Edward.

"You should take a quick shower first. Clean off the rest of the blood," I told him. "It might make you feel better too." Still, Edward was silent. I thought he was going to ignore my suggestion, but then I heard him stand and a few moments later, shut the bathroom door behind him.

I searched the entire room for a first aid kid, but to no avail. After searching through the cabinets in the kitchenette once more, I gave up and returned to the couch to wait for Edward. Mainly out of boredom, I grabbed Edward's suit jacket, rumpled from him sitting on it, and laid it on the table. Somehow, I managed to knock his wallet off the table in the process. I leaned down to pick it up, but before I could close it and put it back where it belonged, I noticed an odd picture where a license was meant to be. I knew I was invading his privacy, but I looked anyway. What caught my eye was the hair of the woman in the picture—the same beautiful, coppery bronze of Edward's hair. She had laugh lines around her mouth and crinkles in the corners of her green eyes. Her smile was that of complete happiness. She was pretty. She and Edward looked so alike—was this woman Edward's biological mother?

Although this discovery surprised me, it wasn't what was odd about the picture. There was someone standing next to the woman—a man it seemed like—and she was clinging to his arm. For some reason, his face was completely scribbled out with black marker, making his features impossible to recognize. My brow furrowed as I examined the picture. I wondered if Edward had been the one to scribble out this man's face.

The door to the bathroom opened behind me and steam wafted into the room. I nearly dropped the wallet as I nervously closed it and set it back on the table, hoping Edward hadn't caught me snooping through his things.

I heard his footsteps behind me as he walked around the couch. I kept my eyes guiltily focused on my intertwined fingers. Edward's large hand suddenly appeared before me, and he dropped a small white box on the table. I realized it was the first aid kit.

"Oh," I said, remembering I hadn't searched the bathroom since Edward had been in there, "I'm glad you found it." I decided to risk meeting his eyes, but I immediately regretted it as my eyes were distracted by Edward's bare torso. Not to mention he was only wearing a towel. I felt my face quickly flare with heat. _Put your tongue back in your mouth and snap out of it Bella, _I scolded myself.

I tore my eyes away from his painfully perfect body and forced myself to look at his face—which had returned to his perfectly emotionless poker mask. This reaction to me shamelessly ogling him was almost more embarrassing than the reaction I had expected. I thought I would have been looking at an amused smirk and laughing eyes. But no, this was Edward, who lived only in the world of negative emotions.

So, not phased by his lack of clothing, Edward sat down wordlessly and faced me. I clumsily grabbed the first aid kit before I became too flustered and rummaged for a disinfectant. I was too much of a coward to look at him again just yet, so I started on his hands.

The scrapes on his knuckles looked much less severe when the blood was completely washed away. The bruises, however, were another story. They were the deep purple of a brand new bruise, and even though they were small, I knew they would take a while to heal. I made quick work of his hands, and after I finished wrapping them up in gauze, I took a steady breath and looked up.

Edward's eyes immediately locked onto mine as I looked at him. The depths of them seemed endless. I could see every emotion he had ever felt in his life as he stared at me. At that very moment, I could see confusion and sadness very prominently. My heart broke for Edward.

Biting my lip, I focused my attention on the deep scratch on his right cheek. I hesitantly reached my fingers up to the angry looking red line and gently spread the disinfectant.

"Why aren't you running away from me?"

"Um... What?" My brows knitted together as I looked at Edward again. His expression showed genuine curiosity. He was serious.

"Why aren't you afraid?" he clarified. "Why aren't you calling security on me, telling me I'm a monster?"

His eyes were expectant, as if he was begging me to give him the answer he wanted. But I didn't know what that answer was. I continued tending to the scratches on his face as I scrambled in my mind for a way to respond to him. Before I was able to do so, Edward wrapped his gauze covered hand around my wrist, gently pulling my hand away from his face. He guided my hand in front of his eyes and stared at my wrist, remorse flashing across his features. It took me a moment to remember that he was looking at the bruises he had unintentionally inflicted upon my skin.

"How can you sit here and take care of me when I did this to you?" He ran his fingers lightly over the bruises. "When you saw what I did to that... to that..." Edward inhaled sharply, unable to finish his sentence. But I knew he was referring to the ship employee.

I pulled my hand out of his grasp and instead took his hand in both of mine. His head snapped up and I was looking into eyes full of pure anguish. I could feel his hand shaking in mine.

"I don't think you're a monster," I squeaked out. My voice was shaking as much as he was. "And I'm not afraid of you, although I feel like I should be." He averted his eyes at my words. I stayed silent as I watched him. I was terrible at comforting people, I knew that. In front of me was a man who had seemed to embody nothing but strength, but now I was witnessing his second breakdown within the past three days. I wasn't sure if he was beyond the ability to be comforted. Or maybe he had just been strong for too long.

"I'm...I'm not sure what you've gone through," I said, almost too quietly for him to hear, "but whatever it was—is—I can see how much it's affected you. I don't think you're a monster, Edward. I just think you've suffered, and that you're still suffering."

Edward grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly, almost painfully. His breathing was erratic, as if he was on the verge of hyperventilation. He looked like he was sobbing, but there were no tears. His eyes were wide and staring at something only he could see. I was beginning to feel panicked.

"Edward...?" I mumbled, unsure if he would even respond.

Suddenly, he let out a strangled cry, like he was physically hurt. I jumped back in shock, but Edward only held onto my hand tighter. I knew he wasn't physically hurt. This was purely emotional—the type of pain that couldn't be healed with medicines and time.

"I thought..." he gasped. "I thought he..."

"You thought what?" I could barely understand what he was saying.

"It's all my fault," he choked out. Then, his voice rose: "It's all my fucking fault!" Edward's shaking was out of control. I had no idea what I was supposed to do. I was so unfamiliar with situations like these.

"Edward," I said, my voice wavering, "maybe I should call Alice..."

"No," he nearly shouted. He squeezed his eyes shut and leaned forward. Before I realized what he was doing, Edward was leaning his head against my shoulder, his hand still gripping mine.

"No," he repeated, quieter now. "Just stay. Stay."

"O-okay." I held as still as I could. I was too nervous to move or to say anything more. I had never witnessed someone break down so completely. I mean, I had watched this happen two nights ago, but being so involved was a completely different experience. When I watched Edward break down while Alice handled it, it hadn't seemed so worrisome. But now... this was so much worse.

I sat there silently for what seemed like hours until Edward's shaking and pained shouts subsided. He never shifted from the position he was in. My hand was starting to feel numb from the tight hold Edward had on it.

I kept thinking about the random things Edward had said. So many times he had apologized—although I wasn't sure to whom—and begged for forgiveness. I could have assumed he was talking about the poor man he had beaten, but somehow I knew that he wasn't referring to him. The agony that had spilled through his words was for someone that meant much more to him than a random stranger. I was morbidly curious of what Edward was keeping hidden within himself, but I didn't dare entertain the thought of asking him. Questions in general seemed to be a very touchy subject to him.

"Edward," I whispered, trying to slip out from underneath him, "you should lie down and sleep." For the first time in a long while, Edward released my hand, and I breathed a sigh of relief. But just as I was about to stand, he wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me closer to him. I tensed up as heat flooded my cheeks.

"Don't go," he muttered, obviously half asleep. I sat there, speechless and locked inside the cage of Edward's arms. _This wasn't exactly the type of situation I imagined myself in Edward's arms_, I couldn't help but think.

"Um...Edward...?" I stammered, embarrassed. He didn't answer me. I noticed that his breathing was slow and steady. He had fallen asleep.

I sighed and began to feel exhaustion set in. I wasn't sure why I felt so tired, because I wasn't the one who had gone through such emotional turmoil tonight, but even in the situation I was in, I wanted nothing more than to sleep as soundly as Edward was.

I felt my eyes begin to flutter closed, but I forced then to stay open. To distract myself, I looked around for the small bag that held my phone, figuring I should have Alice come check on Edward. Once I had located it on the table, I reached for it, doing my best not to jostle Edward too much. Finally, I successfully was able to grab it and extract my phone from inside.

I had a multitude of texts from Alice, of course. Many of them asked how things were going with Edward. Others asked if I wasn't answering her texts because things were going _very _well. And of course, since I was me and Alice knew exactly how to get under my skin, I flushed with embarrassment as I read that text. I tried not to think about the field day Alice would have if she saw the situation Edward and I were in at the moment.

Skipping over the rest of the unread texts, I quickly texted Alice back.

_I think you should come to Edward's room, Alice._

I sent the text and set my phone in my lap, trying to devise a way to extract myself from Edward's grasp without waking him. But then my phone beeped loudly, signaling a new text, and I scrambled to silence it. I was too late though, because Edward shifted and sighed quietly, and then suddenly I was being pulled forward. I found myself lying flush against Edward's hard chest—which I had just remembered was completely bare—with his arms still holding me tightly against him.

_Oh my God, this isn't happening, _I thought. Edward's grip around me was surprisingly strong for someone who was sleeping. I wouldn't be able to move away from him without waking him up. Still feeling horribly embarrassed, I gave up on escaping. I yawned and felt my tiredness urging me to close my eyes. For a moment, I thought about fighting sleep, but the prospect of it seemed so appealing. And Edward's body was so warm. My eyes slipped shut, and within minutes the comfortable darkness of sleep enveloped me.

* * *

**A/N: I doubt anyone wants to hear me rant about how sorry I am for being horrible at updating. But I am. I'M SORRY. :( Okay, I'm done. Anyway... If anyone still reads this, you're awesome and I love you. That is all.**


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